clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Lighthouse Zeitgeist

Humor, parody, fiction and other things to make us laugh from the New York Islanders and the wider world of hockey.

New York Islanders 2022-23 Season Preview: A definitive guide to the forwards

An absolutely true and accurate guide to all the new faces on offense.

Zeitgeist: Lamoriello’s Hacked Emails

A revealing look into the GM’s inbox. (Not really. It’s a joke.)

Marvel Week: “Invisible Woman” talks Isles fandom

[Humor] Even a dimension-trotting superhero is hoping that professional sports can safely resume in the near future.

Zeitgeist: On temporary break from embattled mascot Gritty, Flyers woo new character, Smoothie

[humor] With their beloved mascot Gritty embroiled in an ugly legal dispute, the Philadelphia Flyers have moved on to Smoothie, an "oversized, padded shoulder to cry on" right now.

Fearing a Hurricanes Sweep? Bah, History’s on the Islanders’ side

The Hurricanes have never swept a team and the Islanders have never felt a four-game sweep in a year that counted.

The Islanders-Penguins rivalry as told through Lighthouse Hockey parody posts

A look at some of the fun Islanders fans have had with The Flightless Fowl over the years. Let’s get meta!

Islanders in the Playoffs: A letter to my late-April self

Dear author, please keep these in mind to keep yourself sane over the next several weeks.

April Fool’s! Islanders catch Leafs with epic prank

Veteran Lou Lamoriello catches his protégé Kyle Dubas with a classic gag on a rookie GM

Zeitgeist: A Very Special Alternate John Tavares Video Tribute

A look back at the New York Islanders’ John Tavares Era

Slime-related Event: Isles sign Seidenberg for rest of season

After analyzing a mysterious 50-foot portrait for the entire season, the Islanders have signed the 135-year old spirit living inside of it, defenseman Dennis Seidenberg, to a contract according to reports.

Zeitgeist: Petition urges Seattle NHL team to adopt Whalers name, colors and logo

[humor] A petition being circulated by one local group to name the team the Seattle Whalers and adopt the former team’s green-blue-and-white color scheme and iconic logo already has thousands of signatures.

Cheaper than Therapy, Part 8: An Actual Game of Simulated Hockey

Why don’t you get things started?

This stream has:

Islanders 2017-18 Eastside Hockey Manager - Cheaper than Therapy

A numerical-based approximation of the New York Islanders during the summer of 2017, with the help of of Sega Interactive’s Eastside Hockey Manager 2017.

Cheaper Than Therapy

The busy world was not for me, so I went and found my own.

The John Tavares Contract Encyclopedia Volume 3 (2018) [Updated: 7/1/18]

A third and final volume of articles, notes, commentary and more related to the free agency of Islanders captain John Tavares.

Zeitgeist: Capitals players banned from DC after Cup celebration debauchery

[humor] After winning the franchise’s first Stanley Cup, Washington players have pushed the boundaries of good taste and drawn the ire of local police.

The Importance of Meetings

Some fans laugh at meetings because they don’t know any better

Zeitgeist: Islanders reassign GM Snow to back-up goalie position

[humor] Garth Snow is being reassigned by the New York Islanders from general manager to back-up goalie, the exact opposite path he took a dozen years ago.

Zeitgeist: Islanders issue third apology letter to fans this week

[humor] The Islanders issued another statement to fans via their Twitter account this morning, the third straight day ownership has apologized to fans for their disappointing season.

The John Tavares Contract Encyclopedia Volume 2 (2017-18) [Updated 4/8/18]

A second ongoing volume cataloging all of the times someone discussed Islanders captain John Tavares’s potential free agency.

Gallery: New York Islanders 2017-18 season recapped by cats

Once again Lighthouse Hockey spent an entire season posting recaps of every Islanders game using cat pictures exclusively at our Facebook page. We call them Re-Cats.

Filed under:

  • Fanpost

WeCoach App to Revolutionize NHL Coaching

WeCoach does away with traditional coaching and allows you, the data-loving fan, to make every coaching decision throughout the game. The app automatically removes unsightly Vukota hat tricks and Boulton breakaway blemishes.

A list of words to describe the last two seasons of Islanders hockey

Select all that apply. Results may vary.

Zeitgeist: Every Garth Snow Trade Deadline Article

Copy and paste it going back however many years you want to. See everyone next season.

Zeitgeist: Chiarelli trying to re-acquire ex-Oilers on eBay

Edmonton GM misses the old days and does what he can to make his team feel right again. [humor]

Zeitgeist: Last chance deals on sexy Halloween costumes at

[humor] Don’t get shut out this Halloween! Become Sexy Corsi, Sexy Video Review or four other sexy NHL in-jokes with just one click!

Complete Encyclopedia of Tavares telling the Leafs to get lost [Updated 9/7/17]

A handy compendium of all the times Islanders captain John Tavares has politely told the entire province of Ontario that he wants to stay with the team he’s with right now thank you very much.

Zeitgeist: You work for The Athletic now

[humor] The Athletic already boasts some of the best writing talent out there. You work for them now, butthead. Majority shareholder Biff Tannen explains in this editorial.

Gallery: New York Islanders 2016-17 season recapped by cats

Once again Lighthouse Hockey spent an entire season posting recaps of every Islanders game using cat pictures exclusively at our Facebook page. We call them Re-Cats.

Zeitgeist: NHL to permanently retire No. 66 in honor of Josh Ho-Sang

[humor] New York Islanders forward Joshua Ho-Sang will receive an honor no NHL rookie ever has when the league permanently retires his jersey number later this month. Just a few games into his NHL career, the 21-year-old will be on the same level with the league’s all-time greatest player, Wayne Gretzky.

Cappy’s Final Pre-Gamer: Say goodbye to the Prime Timeline

The now-fired Islanders coach makes an epic final speech that makes Inception look like Weekend at Bernie’s.

Zeitgeist: Affleck to direct & star in movie about Jack Capuano

EXCLUSIVE! The two-time Oscar takes on his most dynamic role yet: coach of the Islanders. [humor]