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Eric Boulton Cannot Quit You

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Not gonna prune just any man's chest.

Next, I will beat you with this sad Philly hipster t-shirt.
Next, I will beat you with this sad Philly hipster t-shirt.
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Eric Boulton, the man. The myth. The chest-hair plucker. The breakaway threat. The guy who kept Matt Donovan company in the press box in 2014-15, and [insert your favorite you can't believe they scratched] in 2015-16.

The lifetime Islander.

You knew the Islanders liked having him around, signing him to successive one-year contracts despite ever-decreasing game appearances and occasional break-glass-in-case-of-roster-need IR appearances.

It sounds like they will keep him around into his 40s.

In a Newsday article mostly about forwards who appeared in lots of games and are parts of the on-ice future, Arthur Staple also added this nugget about the man whose name befits a sprinter and whose mere mention makes Lighthouse Hockey's own Michael Willhoft perk up:

He'll be 40 in August but he's probably in better shape than most of the 19-year-old prospects in the Isles system.

He told me last week he hasn't made any decisions yet on whether he's going to play in 2016-17, but one thing seems clear: He'll still be around the Islanders.

Staple mentioned a range of possible roles, from a development coach to Carkner-esque Bridgeport mentor to TV (Yes please! TV! You know that'd be amazing.) In addition to pounding miscreants with his fists when needed, the dude scored a hat trick in an NHL game once, so is there any job he cannot fill?

Whatever the former Sabre, Devil and Thrasher's future may be, it lies in Islanders Country. He's family now.