i need to get this off my chest (my magnificently sculpted chest)

i have to admit it's been a little stressful lately... there's a lot going on in my life... 1) my dear wife was killed from the larvae of a ceti eel by wrapping themselves around her cerebral cortex...


2) my nemesis "admiral" kirk is always pissing me off...


3) i have this mole on my cheek that keeps changing color...


so i have enough going on and what i don't need is the islanders skating around like a bunch of strangers that were forced in a room together for some science experiment controlled by an evil alien race like when kirk was captured by the Vians and capt picard was captured by a race of pointy headed nervous claustrophobes.


basically the islanders don't seem like a team. at least not yet. i know something about teamwork. me and my 72 brothers and sisters worked together seamlessly as a functioning unit. we were good. we ruled the earth and gave humans the order and discipline they needed.


those were the days. and what ruined all that? for one thing humans are whiny little bitches. i mean that hitler guy was ok. so was atilla the hun... genghis khan (great last name)... trump... but the rest are weak. the other reason was that sniveling weasel of a bitch captain kirk. then admiral kirk. then captain kirk. it didn't matter what rank he was... he sucked the life out of everything he came in contact with.

did you know he smelled like cheese and broccoli left out in the sun too long?... and that was on a good day.


but before all that, me and my headband donning men and babes worked together as a team and that's what the islanders need.


they lost some very good components and it shows. so how do they become a team again? my three rules to living life and making it better... 1) destroy your enemy (aka that moron kirk) 2) eat massive amounts of fiber 3) lots and lots of pushups.

if they follow these three simple rules i think everything will be fine

good luck

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