NHL Skills Competition 2016: Time, TV schedule, events and how to watch online

The NHL Skills Competition is tonight! I know you are very excited!

New York Islanders captain John Tavares, who is Metropolitan Division captain because Alex Ovechkin stayed home with a case of ouchy, helped pick the Eastern Conference teams for tonight's skills competition.

Think of it like a post-game shootout, except it doesn't magically make a two-point game worth three points, and no one is called a "loser" by virtue of that magical NHL points asexual reproduction.

If you didn't know, the All-Star Game has changed formats this year, with a four-team, division-based, three-on-three tourney on Sunday.

But tonight, it's all about the skills (z optional). Eastern Conference All-Stars against the Western Conference All-Stars, competing in six events:

• [tire or structural piece] NHL Fastest Skater™
• [car thing, SUV maker maybe] NHL Breakaway Challenge™
• [waste time and think you'll make money but you won't] NHL Accuracy Shooting™
• [less sugar than before! Drink] NHL Skills Challenge Relay™
• [no idea but it probably poisons teenagers maybe] NHL Hardest Shot™
• [just charge it!] NHL Shootout™

Tavares will be in the accuracy shooting contest as well as the shootout at the end that basically includes everyone, like it's a Marek Malik shootout.

How to watch the 2016 NHL Skills Competition

If any of this makes sense to you, or captures your intrigue, here's how to follow along:

Bridgestone Arena | Nashville, Tennessee, USA
Time: 7 p.m. EST (8:30 a.m. in Pyongyang)
TV: NBCSN in the United States, Sportsnet, CBC, TVA in Canada
Live stream: NBC Live Extra

And of course you can comment along right here.

I Am Skeptical. Why Do They Do This?

Perhaps you're one of those Fun-Haters who thinks all of this is stupid and none of it necessary. Fair enough. The weekend events are not for everyone (including yours truly). Just remember that: 1) kids love it, and get to meet the stars, 2) other fans love it too, including die-hards and those new to the game, and 3)...wait, what was #3?

Oh yeah, this: The weekend builds rapport with the entities who fill the league's coffers:

They pay good money for this, so you don't have to listen to the timeshare pitch.