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Islanders News: Golly! I saw a boy out there run as fast as the train! Faster, even!

Oh, Lois Lane. You have a writer's gift for invention.

Wanna go for a run, Jaro?
Wanna go for a run, Jaro?
Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Former Islanders property news

  • Be a charitable citizen and run with Pat LaFontaine in Farmingdale's Main Street Mile on September 5. []
  • Bye, Scooter. We hardly knew ye.

Random happenings

  • Jacques Lemaire resurfaces with... the Toronto Maple Leafs? That's both incredibly predictable and unbelievably strange to wrap your head around. But he joins the Old Devils Club as a "Special Assignment Coach," whatever that means. [Fire n' Ice | PPP on the weirdness]
  • New Duck Carl Hagelin re-ups for four years at $4 million per. [Anaheim Calling]
  • NHL COO John Collins answers some of Puck Daddy's burning questions about that massive MLBAM deal. NHL Network is moving to New York and gifs aren't going anywhere.
  • Russian national team captain and KHL veteran Ilya Nikulin is ready to come to North America to play in the NHL. The 33-year-old defenseman could be an interesting addition to a team looking for a veteran on the blueline. Anyone know any teams in the market? [The Hockey News]