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Staple Twitter Convo: All your free agents are belong to someone else

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Slow your roll, junior.

Nice knowing ya, buddy. Take it easy.
Nice knowing ya, buddy. Take it easy.
Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

It's been entirely too positive around the Islanders lately, what with the shrewd moves and history-making and almost universal praise for their draft picks. What we need is some good, old fashioned negativity to remind everyone that these are the New York Islanders and they are destined for failure so please do not get your hopes up, lest ye be ready for the eventual torture.

Fortunately, nobody knows this better than Newsday's Arthur Staple, who took to Twitter today to throw a few buckets of ice cold water on that scorching hot trade or signing you've been working on. He didn't mention anything about any coaches being fired, which means they'll be around to ground your dreams into powder for at least another few months.

As always we thank Arthur for his time. And remember: You are 100 percent correct - this team absolutely hates you.

Not coming back

Tyler Kennedy.

P.A. Parenteau.

Matt Donovan.

Lubomir Visnovsky.

[Note: Staple also said Colin McDonald would most likely be moving on, but the original tweet was deleted.]

*   *   *

Not coming here

Johnny Oduya and Mike Green.

Viktor Stalberg.

Phil Kessel.

Chris Stewart.

Andrej Sekera or Justin Williams.

Joel Ward.

Patrick Sharp.

Martin St. Louis.

Michael Dal Colle and Joshua Ho-Sang.

Seriously, forget Sharp.

*   *   *

Not...er, maybe

Eric Fehr or Erik Condra. (No word on former Coming to America star Eriq La Salle.)

Brad Richards.

Kevin Czuczman.

Paul Martin, Cody Franson, Tim Jackman or Sekera.

Krill Petrov.

*   *   *

Not at all on topic

Wait. The Islanders near the salary cap?

And a query from a Mr. Afrosupreme: "Do you even watch the games?"