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John Tavares & Rob Riggle's "Brooklyn Blogger" interview: Two minutes of your life you won't get back

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Yeah, I like cupcakes.

If you missed the NHL Awards Show last night because you were doing literally anything else in this or any other dimension, you didn't see the "comedy" sketch starring Islanders captain and Hart Trophy nominee John Tavares and a "Brooklyn blogger" played by host Rob Riggle.

So, here it is. Spoiler: the Geocities web address on the opening chalk board is the funniest joke in it.

Riggle is a talented (and interesting) guy who can make any random non sequitur funny with a just look or his voice. But this was... not his finest moment. Tavares ad libs what he can but can't save the bit from dying on the vine. Fortunately for him and us, he's much better at hockey than he is at acting.

Just ignore the two mooks sitting behind Riggle.

But maybe the mooks are the thing. Maybe it would have been funnier if instead of being "interviewed" by one Bensonhurst goombah and his paisans, Tavares could have faced down a gallery of indigenous Brooklyn personalities, all played by Riggle, who could have also suited up as:

  • A trucker hat-wearing, PBR-swilling hipster from Williamsburg.
  • A banya-loving Eastern Promises-style Russian gangster from Brighton Beach.
  • A crunchy granola Park Slope Eco-Dad.
  • A tech industry venture capitalist and ping pong enthusiast from DUMBO.
  • Patrick Stewart.

But what do I know?