This year's NHL Award show was an often cringe-inducing parade of leaden jokes and empty dive bar-esque musical performances. Compared to the show itself, the Islanders getting shutout of any hardware wasn't really that depressing.
John Tavares finished a distant third in voting for the Hart Trophy as the league's Most Valuable player behind Alex Ovechkin, who himself finished a distant second behind Canadiens goalie Carey Price. Tavares - who, again, is still extraordinarily good at hockey - garnered 739 points, including four votes for first place, while Ovechkin had a very prophetic 888 total points with eight votes for first place. Price ran away with the award with 1498 points on a might-as-well-have-been-unanimous 139 votes for first place.
Tavares also finished third in 2013, when Ovechkin won his third Hart.
Losing a trophy to a goalie having one of the most ridiculous seasons in NHL history wasn't nearly as embarrassing as the sketch Tavares starred in with show host Rob Riggle, who played a "Brooklyn Blogger" asking the Islanders captain questions about the team's move to Barclays Center. Tavares was game and did the best he could, but the goombah characters and jokes about the best cupcakes in Brooklyn went about as smoothly as traffic on the BQE.
It ended with Tavares getting his own One Man Lion Pack Shirt and having a group hug with Riggle and his paisans.
"Social Media correspondent" P.K. Subban followed up the skit with an ad-libbed line about the sweetest cupcakes in Brooklyn not being as sweet as Tavares' hands, which was funnier than the entire bit. Sadly, Subban's comedy efforts couldn't prevent him from losing the Norris Trophy to Ottawa's Erik Karlsson.
Just before announcing Price as the Hart winner, Riggle called Tavares, "Jonathan" a common mistake that's clearly reached epidemic proportions.
We already knew Garth Snow wouldn't be a finalist for General Manager of the Year, and he ended up finishing fifth behind winner Steve Yzerman. Snow had 28 points with three first place votes and came in behind Yzerman, Glen Sather, Bob Murray and Bryan Murray. I have a feeling I know what Garth was thinking after seeing those votes.
Other Islanders receiving votes for awards were Anders Lee, who got some fourth and fifth place votes for the Calder Trophy as Rookie of the Year, and Nick Leddy who got one second place vote for the Norris.
Jack Capuano finished among the Top Ten in voting for the Jack Adams Trophy, reeling in two first place votes like they were striped bass off the coast of Nantucket. Calgary's Bob Hartley won the award.
Here's the full story on all the winners. Price was the big kahuna, taking home the Hart, Vezina and Lindsay Awards. Florida's Aaron Ekblad won the Calder and Patrice Bergeron won his 14th consecutive Selke Trophy.
Calgary's Jiri Hudler accepted his Lady Byng Trophy without shoes on and delivered a two minute-long stand-up set that was the entertainment highlight of the entire production. Give it a watch.