Islanders News: I haven't seen anything this bad since the Anita Bryant concert

Let's call this "E-surance:"

Islander fans! Everyone take a deep breath and relax. We're going to the playoffs. And we will make life difficult for someone @NYIslanders

— Kevin Connolly (@mrkevinconnolly) April 8, 2015

Islanders links

• Recaps of a wretched gut punch: LHH | Newsday | NY Daily News | Islanders | NHL.com | Broad Street Hockey
• So what does last night mean? Eric Hornick has the clinching scenarios.
• A bunch of regulars - Frans Nielsen, Cal Clutterbuck and Matt Martin - missed yesterday's game with mystery injuries. Martin and Nielsen watched it at home on TV just like you did. That must have been fun. [Newsday]
  
• The Coliseum isn't just the home of the Islanders, but of many personal memories that extend beyond hockey. [The Checking Line]
• More on the Islanders "campus" that's now under construction at Barclays Center. [NY Daily News]
• It's Pucks and Paws Night at the Sound Tigers game this weekend. Make sure to curb your paw-bearing creature. [BST]
• Doyle Somerby has become a huge contributor for the BU Terriers. [SBN College Hockey]
• Tall goalie Linus Soderstrom is making a name for himself in Sweden. Just don't ask him who Garth Snow is. [The Hockey News]
  

Elsewhere

• While we were gnashing our teeth and obsessing about the Islanders, the hockey world couldn't care less because the Penguins were suffering an equally (worse? I don't know) demoralizing loss to the Senators. Pittsburgh led 3-0 before losing 4-3 in OT. The Sens aren't going away. [Pensburgh]
  
• And in the other huge loss of the evening, the Kings dropped a 4-2 decision to the Oilers (!). Coupled with wins by Winnipeg and Calgary, the defending champs are running out of road. [JFTC]
• See, don't those incredible, unbelievable losses by recently good teams make you feel better about the Islanders? Didn't think so.
• Then you probably shouldn't read this.
• Kevin Shattenkirk dishes his scouting reports on the NHL's best defensemen. Something tells me he didn't capture the .gifs himself, though. [Players Tribune Part I | Part II]
• The end of the season means guessing which coach is going to get shit-canned first. Jack Capuano isn't on Puck Daddy's list, probably because outside of sites like this, the expectations for the Islanders are pretty low. Or because everyone forgot who's coaching the Islanders these days anyway.
  
• Down Goes Brown looks at some of the roughest, toughest and most competitive divisions in NHL history. A few Patrick Division bloodbaths are included.
  
• Jack Johnson's financial turmoil now involves former Giants cornerback Will Allen, who was running a Ponzi scheme of his own. You read all of that correctly. [Blue Jackets Xtra]
• In which Jim Dolan blackmails Mats Zuccarello into seeing Dolan's shitty blues band on their European tour. Mats, find a cave in Norway and hide there. [SB Nation]