Special for the playoffs, we highlight LHH community member Les Beaver's ongoing series of dramatic interpretations of what Jack Capuano's pre-game pep talks sound like.
Cappy: So now, just to make sure I got this: We win tonight, we're done playing Washington?
Cappy: But if we lose, we're also done playing them, right?
Dougie: Correct. Them and everyone else.
Cappy: That don't sound so bad either way.
JT: If we win - no - WHEN we win, we move on to play the Rangers.
Cappy: Meh. They're boring. I don't really want to have to watch them for seven games.
KO: PLAYOFFS, BOYS! GAME SEVEN, BOYS! GAME SEVEN! I'M KINDA SHITTIN' MY PANTS A LITTLE, BOYS!
Strome: There are web sites that are surprisingly accepting of that.
Strome: Yeah. It's kinda weird at first, but after a while, you start to see why people would be -
Mayfield: Dude....that's gross.
Strome: Well, yes, at first, but it's like art - you really have to -
Cappy: OK boys, let's focus on the matter at hand. I ain't even that nervous. You guys see me twerkin' the NHL on twittle last night?
Lee: Twerkin'? I don't think that's the word you're looking for there.
Cappy: I was all asking them about how long Niskanen is out for. Then I was all bringing up Letang. Colin Campbell is still probably trying to figure out how to type. Guy hates me. I once played the Interrupting Cow game with him for half an hour.
Nelson: Interrupting cow?
Cappy: Yeah. You know...knock knock.
Nelson: Who's there?
Cappy: Interrupting cow.
Nelson: Interrupting cow wh-
Nelson: Interrupting cow wh -
Cappy: You say something?
Cappy: Can't hear you. I'm an interrupting cow. Can't let you speak.
Nelson: Right, I got it....
Cappy: I can do this all night.
Cappy: Nope, nothing coming through.
Cappy: You gotta talk or it don't work.
Nelson: I'm not playi-
Cappy: Gotcha. See that? Works every time.
Nelson: Right. You wi-
Cappy: You talking to me?
Nielsen: LET HIM SPEAK JACK CAPUANO!
KO: PLAYOFFS, BOYS! GAME SEVEN, BOYS! I'M GONNA THROW UP, BOYS. GONNA HEAVE SOME COOKIES!
Strome: Another subset of sites one can find on the web does involve throw up. You could be a goldmine, Kyle.
Nelson: ARE WE don-
Cappy: Nope, not done. I'm an interrupting cow and yada yada yada. You get the picture.
Nelson: I got the picture quite some time ago.
Cappy: So anyway, after thirty minutes of that, Colin Campbell walked out, slammed his door and I ain't seen him since. I figure he's plotting his revenge as we speak.
Nielsen: He is not....I would know....it's what I do.
Cappy: Well that's good cause I ain't seen you doing much this series.
Nielsen: Do not play these games with me, Jack Capuano. I am not John Tavares.
JT: That's true - because if you were, you'd have a sweet "C "on your shirt not that weak ass "A". OOOOHHHHHH, Burned.....right? No? Anyone....?
Cappy: That was cold, John.
Boychuk: That's a fucked up thing to say to someone.
JT: I was...I thought it was....
Cappy: Look, some guys are made for wisecracks and sick burns. You ain't one of em. Stick to the Zombie stuff, it suits you. And oh, I wanted to compliment your effectiveness on the Kulemin goal.
JT: Thanks. It was a tough sp-
Cappy: While you were out there literally sleeping on the ground - at first I thought it was Johnny and was gonna tell everyone, "that's you how do it, boys" - then I saw it was you, and luckily Nick over here bailed your lazy ass out and scored the game winner. You should be bringing him grapes and fanning him with a leaf.
JT: I set that play up. I was drilled into the boards by two goddamn -
Cappy: New nickname: "Johnny Catnap."
JT: Oh come....well, I mean...I like that Johnny part. And it's better than DJ Buzzkill....OK, cool. I'm good with it.
Martin: Yeah, I like it too.
Cizikas: Me too. I love that.
Cappy: Oh - one last thing - we really need to win tonight. I left some stuff in my office - various Entenmann's products mostly. If we don't win tonight, I ain't gonna be able to get back in to get that stuff, so let's make sure we win this one. John, a hat trick would be nice.
JT: You got it.
Cappy: OK boys, let's win this one. Here's the gameplan: In their net - A LOT, outta ours - EVERY TIME. Save the City, boys.