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Cappy Pre-Gamer: Islanders vs. Capitals, Game SevInterrupting Cow

Cappy turns to a rude bovine to inspire his troops.

See me twerkin'
See me twerkin'

Special for the playoffs, we highlight LHH community member Les Beaver's ongoing series of dramatic interpretations of what Jack Capuano's pre-game pep talks sound like.

Cappy: So now, just to make sure I got this: We win tonight, we're done playing Washington?

Dougie: Correct.

Cappy: But if we lose, we're also done playing them, right?

Dougie: Correct. Them and everyone else.

Cappy: That don't sound so bad either way.

JT: If we win - no - WHEN we win, we move on to play the Rangers.

Cappy: Meh. They're boring. I don't really want to have to watch them for seven games.

Clutterbuck: PLAYOFFS!


Strome: There are web sites that are surprisingly accepting of that.

Donovan: Really?

Strome: Yeah. It's kinda weird at first, but after a while, you start to see why people would be -

Mayfield: Dude....that's gross.

Strome: Well, yes, at first, but it's like art - you really have to -

Cappy: OK boys, let's focus on the matter at hand. I ain't even that nervous. You guys see me twerkin' the NHL on twittle last night?

Lee: Twerkin'? I don't think that's the word you're looking for there.

Cappy: I was all asking them about how long Niskanen is out for. Then I was all bringing up Letang. Colin Campbell is still probably trying to figure out how to type. Guy hates me. I once played the Interrupting Cow game with him for half an hour.

Nelson: Interrupting cow?

Cappy: Yeah. You know...knock knock.

Nelson: Who's there?

Cappy: Interrupting cow.

Nelson: Interrupting cow wh-

Cappy: What?

Nelson: Interrupting cow wh -

Cappy: You say something?

Nelson: Oh...

Cappy: Can't hear you. I'm an interrupting cow. Can't let you speak.

Nelson: Right, I got it....

Cappy: I can do this all night.

Nelson: OK.

Cappy: Nope, nothing coming through.

Nelson: ...

Cappy: You gotta talk or it don't work.

Nelson: I'm not playi-

Cappy: Gotcha. See that? Works every time.

Nelson: Right. You wi-

Cappy: You talking to me?


Clutterbuck: PLAYOFFS!


Strome: Another subset of sites one can find on the web does involve throw up. You could be a goldmine, Kyle.

Nelson: ARE WE don-

Cappy: Nope, not done. I'm an interrupting cow and yada yada yada. You get the picture.

Nelson: I got the picture quite some time ago.

Cappy: So anyway, after thirty minutes of that, Colin Campbell walked out, slammed his door and I ain't seen him since. I figure he's plotting his revenge as we speak.

Nielsen: He is not....I would's what I do.

Cappy: Well that's good cause I ain't seen you doing much this series.

Nielsen: Do not play these games with me, Jack Capuano. I am not John Tavares.

JT: That's true - because if you were, you'd have a sweet "C "on your shirt not that weak ass "A". OOOOHHHHHH, Burned.....right? No? Anyone....?

Cappy: That was cold, John.

Boychuk: That's a fucked up thing to say to someone.

JT: I was...I thought it was....

Cappy: Look, some guys are made for wisecracks and sick burns. You ain't one of em. Stick to the Zombie stuff, it suits you. And oh, I wanted to compliment your effectiveness on the Kulemin goal.

JT: Thanks. It was a tough sp-

Cappy: While you were out there literally sleeping on the ground - at first I thought it was Johnny and was gonna tell everyone, "that's you how do it, boys" - then I saw it was you, and luckily Nick over here bailed your lazy ass out and scored the game winner. You should be bringing him grapes and fanning him with a leaf.

JT: I set that play up. I was drilled into the boards by two goddamn -

Cappy: New nickname: "Johnny Catnap."

JT: Oh come....well, I mean...I like that Johnny part. And it's better than DJ Buzzkill....OK, cool. I'm good with it.

Martin: Yeah, I like it too.

Cizikas: Me too. I love that.

Cappy: Oh - one last thing - we really need to win tonight. I left some stuff in my office - various Entenmann's products mostly. If we don't win tonight, I ain't gonna be able to get back in to get that stuff, so let's make sure we win this one. John, a hat trick would be nice.

JT: You got it.

Cappy: OK boys, let's win this one. Here's the gameplan: In their net - A LOT, outta ours - EVERY TIME. Save the City, boys.