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Slideshow: Ranking the best 15 NHL arenas for child conception

A very important guide to life on Earth.

By Dan Saraceni
  • No. 15 GILA RIVER ARENA, Glendale, Arizona (Coyotes). Wide open and mostly private but thanks to a local law, all children conceived there become property of the Glendale City Council for a period of no less than 30 years (although a five year out clause is an option)
  • No. 14. PRUDENTIAL CENTER, Newark, New Jersey (Devils). Newark is one of America's most crime-ridden cities and “The Rock” is one of the NHL’s most expensive arenas. Your choices are to either to pay through the nose for a lot, or park on the street and hope no one steals your car while you and your loved one are in it.
  • No. 13. SCOTTRADE CENTER, St. Louis, Missouri (Blues). Only seems to produce middle children for some reason.
  • No. 12. SAP CENTER, San Jose, California (Sharks). Go away, Joe Thornton. We don't need any help.
  • No. 11. MTS CENTER, Winnipeg, Manitoba (Jets). Unplanned pregnancies are possible while trying to stay warm before or after games.
  • No. 10. CONSOL ENERGY CENTER, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (Penguins). This parking lot is Spoiled Brat Central. Avoid if possible.
  • No. 9. CANADIAN TIRE CENTER, Kanata, Ontario (Senators). Very remote and without much of a view. There's also a chance the child could be born as either a depressed Leafs fan, arrogant Canadiens fan or defensive Senators fan. No child deserves that.
  • No. 8. HONDA CENTER, Anaheim, California (Ducks). This clean suburban parking complex has been known to produce kids that are rotten, sneaky and incorrigibly dirty.
  • No. 7. REXALL PLACE, Edmonton, Alberta (Oilers). Always ready to welcome new youngsters into the world every year (sometimes a little prematurely).
  • No. 6. SCOTIABANK SADDLEDOME, Calgary, Alberta (Flames). Kids conceived here might not be the best or brightest, but they're almost guaranteed to be hard workers.
  • No. 5. FIRST NIAGARA CENTER, Buffalo, New York (Sabres). Yes, it's brutally cold but the weather is balanced out by the parking lot’s beautiful lakefront views and a staff dedicated to dropping everything and putting the child's needs first.
  • No. 4. JOE LOUIS ARENA, Detroit, Michigan (Red Wings). The parking lot at “The Joe” seems to produce talented kids at a remarkable rate thanks to an extra long 48-month pregnancy period that scientists have yet to fully understand.
  • No. 3. BB&T CENTER, Sunrise, Florida (Panthers). Warm nights all season long are good for scheduling. But beware of Canadian kidnappers demanding to take the babies to Quebec promising a better life there.
  • No. 2. PNC CENTER, Raleigh, North Carolina (Hurricanes). There's just something about this picturesque southern parking lot that's conducive to procreation. It could be the heat. Or the barbecue. Or the moonshine.
  • No. 1. NASSAU VETERANS MEMORIAL COLISEUM, Uniondale, New York (Islanders). It might not look like much, but there's a lot to be said for the old barn on Hempstead Turnpike and its fertile parking lot. The pros include great views and a cozy, retro feel you can’t get anywhere else. The con is that the child will most-likely leave Nassau County as soon as they're legally able to.

Kids are great. Hockey is great. Conceiving kids outside a hockey arena is a great idea.

Just ask Islanders fan Joy Rosen, who shared with the world last night during an Islanders-Rangers broadcast one of the great moments of her life: the conception of her son in the Nassau Coliseum parking lot during an Islanders game in 1982.

(Vine via Lighthouse Hockey's own Keith Quinn)

Fortunately for hockey fans, Uniondale isn't the only NHL location where a couple can conceive a child. There are many arenas across the league in which the miracle of life can take place.

But some parking lots are better than others and can offer certain perks, while some might just have an effect on the child's life, either positively or negatively. Here's a breakdown of the 15 best NHL arenas to get pregnant at and what it might mean for your baby. {Click through the images above.}

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