Just in time for Halloween, the Islanders have done the bizarre rituals on the roof and choosed one of the pre-chosen forms, signing ancient traveler Eric Boulton to a one-year, one-way contract and allowing him to once again wreak intermittent havoc on this dimension.
That's right. The 39-year old enforcer has been summoned for his 20th pro season, 15th in the NHL and fourth with the Islanders, who act as both the keymaster and the gatekeeper for their beloved dark master.
Boulton was unleashed in 10 games last season, scoring two goals and no assists. Disturbingly, both goals came at the expense of the Columbus Blue Jackets in April. Many Goloubefs and Tyutins knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that month I can tell you.
The Islanders didn't need to go full stream to sign him, but the deal does have some conditions, which do not include being turned into dogs.
Eric Boulton (NYI) 1 yr @ $575,000 $25,000 performance bonus for each playoff round won— General Fanager (@generalfanager) October 13, 2015
This morning, the Islanders sent rookie defenseman Ryan Pulock down to Bridgeport to get him some immediate work in today's game against Springfield. Pulock, by virtue of his damned right handedness, had been the odd man out when Thomas Hickey got slimed.
So, for the time being, the Islanders have a spot for Boulton. Once Hickey comes back, don't be surprised if Boulton comes down with a mysterious "ailment" that forces him to cease and desist all supernatural activities and sends him to injured reserve or the nearest parallel dimension.
Previously, the only paranormal being the Islanders had encountered was Radek Martinek, a Class 5 Free-Roaming defenseman. But a new spiritual turbulence has been concentrated.
The choice is made. The Traveler has come.
And remember, when someone asks if Eric Boulton is a god, only Michael Willhoft says, "yes."