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League of Hate and Envy: Tampa Bay Lightning

Blasphemy! Hersey! Singular team names!

Hahaha. Seriously guys, cut that out.
Hahaha. Seriously guys, cut that out.
Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Players are skating, and NHL training camps are within sniffing distance. So we are warming up our emotional engines to conjure all the irrational excitement, hatred and other strongly worded feelings that accompany an eight-month devotion to watching men making billions playing a game.

This is part of a quick game of considering our rivals, with love (er, envy), and hate.

Hate: Let us recount the tale of Lightning defenseman and agent of evil Radko Gudas Iscariot:

Gospel of Lighthouse 35: 3-2 (SO)

Gudas Agrees to Betray Jesus John Tavares

Then Satan entered Gudas, now called Iscariot, one of the team's top four defensive disciples. And Gudas went to the chief players and the officers of the Tampa guard and discussed with them how he might betray Jesus John Tavares. They were delighted and agreed to give him money - 30 pieces of silver - and a limited no-trade clause. He consented, and watched for an opportunity to hand Tavares over to them when no crowd was present. For Gudas Iscariot knew that, at an Islanders-Lighting game in December, there is never a crowd present.


Envy: The Lightning are good. Very good. A likely candidate to win the Eastern Conference good (provided goalie Ben Bishop is healthy and ready). I'm envious of any team that can stick it to the Penguins, Bruins or Rangers on the road and make them think it was more than luck.

Reader Picks

And you? Which (current) naturally generated electrical charge do you hate most, and which one do you think is an alright guy? Maybe it's someone who's very good or very bad or very suntanned. Please show your work.

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