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SLIDESHOW: How Nassau County Can Win Back the Islanders

A step-by-step plan on how Nassau County can get the Islanders to stop this silly move to Brooklyn and just come home already.

By Dan Saraceni
  • IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES The relationship between Nassau County and the New York Islanders has taken many twists and turns over the last 42 years. The Islanders' 2015 move to Brooklyn seems to be the end. But can Nassau get the Islanders back? Our experts say YES!
  • 1. SHOULD THEY EVEN GET BACK TOGETHER? Sometimes wanting an ex back is really about proving your ex still needs you. Sometimes, your friends will push you to get back together because the break-up has disrupted their lives as well. Here’s how Nassau can decide if it truly wants to bring the Islanders back: They need to make a list of pros and cons. “Write down what they liked about the Islanders versus what they didn't like,” says online dating expert Blanche Staite, author of How to Lose a Lover by Not Doing Anything. “If the list of the pros isn’t longer than the list of cons, Nassau can stop the exercise here and start familiarizing themselves with the Bridgeport Sound Tigers' roster.”
  • 2. TAKE IT SLOW Nassau romanced the Islanders once already, but that doesn’t mean they'll go from zero to 60 without even getting behind the wheel. So the county should propose a simple, casual get-together AND NOT ASK THE ISLANDERS TO MOVE BACK IN RIGHT AWAY. Most importantly, Nassau shouldn't call first. “The county should try sending a sweet text, not one that will make the Islanders think they're looking for a booty call,” says Casey, 24, from Hempstead. “They want the team to think about something that they shared together that might warm their heart.” Example: "Was listening to the radio and heard that Live is Life song. Brought back memories of the 2010-2011 season. Hope you’re doing great!" If the Islanders respond, it's a sign they may be open to rekindling the spark.
  • 3. CALL THEM. MAYBE Nassau shouldn't rush things, no matter how many people want the Islanders back yesterday. What the county should do is suggest a casual date by phone. The Islanders need to hear Nassau's voice and, specifically, some sincere feelings. “Nassau should invite the Islanders to an art gallery opening or a movie or a hike on a sunny day,” says Staite. “It will give them a chance to get together in a relaxed environment, without too much pressure.” But remember, accepting the invite is just that—and not a sure sign the Islanders want to get back together. If they turn the county down, Nassau needs to give the Islanders their space. “Don’t beg, cry, or hang around Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn stalking them,” says Sandy, 28, from Dix Hills. “If it’s meant to be, the Islanders will come around on their own time-table.”
  • 4. AVOID REHASHING THE PAST If the Islanders accept the date invite, Nassau needs to ease in slowly. Ask what the Islanders have been up to, how the season is looking, if Sparky ever scrubbed that kid's puke off his wings—whatever. Then, and only then, should Nassau say they want them back. “Nassau can't go down memory lane and hash out all the things they thought were wrong with the relationship,” says Staite. “Forget about the years of political football playing and the insults and the backroom deals. Everybody knows what happened and it's old news. Keep the conversation light.” Focus on the positive qualities that brought them together in the first place, like that dynastic team of Hall of Famers or that dense, affluent family community with a lot of disposable income.
  • 5. TAKE A WALK ON THE ROMANTIC SIDE Even in the 21st century, chivalrous acts are important. Examples: Chocolates, cards, Omaha Steaks and flowers (sent to the Barclays Center so all their new co-workers can get green with envy). But here’s how to make them legit and not cheesy: “Write a love letter,” says Jean, 40, from Fort Salonga. “Nassau needs to tell the Islanders why they love them and what it is about them that makes them completely special. It’s OK to rip off lyrics or quote Al Arbour. Good, old-fashioned courtship works every time.”
  • 6. YA KNOW WHAT? ON SECOND THOUGHT, FORGET IT Break-ups happen for one simple reason: one or both sides say enough is enough. Since they're going to be alone soon anyway, maybe now is the time for Nassau to focus on itself and let the Islanders move on with their lives. No matter how many people won't let them.

Break-ups are never easy, and it's very common for one or both exes to regret their decisions after a cooling-off period. When the New York Islanders announced their upcoming move to Brooklyn's Barclays Center last October, it effectively meant walking away from their long, dysfunctional relationship with Nassau County. But since the announcement, Nassau has made some strides in bettering itself and recently selected the Barclays Center's developer to revitalize the obsolete Nassau Coliseum and it's surrounding area.

With a new arena built by an existing and friendly business partner, many observers are wondering if Nassau and its estranged team can reconcile and get back together. They were such a cute couple! It's so sad to not see them together. For those who want to see this marriage continue, this exclusive BLEACHER REPORT Lighthouse Hockey slideshow asks some esteemed relationship experts what steps Nassau County can take to win back its lost love. The answers may surprise you.

(Full disclosure: I submitted this to Bleacher Report a few days ago and they rejected it. Something about having "too many words and not enough girls." So Dom said I could post it here. But look for my next three BR slideshows, "39 Things That Make Rick DiPietro's Contract the Worst Contract Ever Signed," "15 Terrible Contracts Better than Rick DiPietro's" and "The 47 Best Bleacher Report Slideshows About How Bad Rick DiPietro's Contract Is.")

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