Cappy Exit Interviews I: #2 Mark Streit

Cappy: OK boys, I’m not sure why we have to do these every year, I get nothing from them, but whatevah. Gahth tells me to do em, I do em. Everyone, line up and I’ll call you in alphabetically. OK – #2 Mark Streit.

Streit – I am not first alphabetically?

Cappy: We’re gonna do it alphabetically by numbers. You’re #2, you go first.

Streit: OK…if you want it that way….

Cappy: I Want it That Way, Einstreiter – I was a big Backstreet fan too. So, I don’t know if you’re gonna be here next year. Great if you are, good luck if you’re not. Which door will you be using to leave?

Streit: Which door?

Cappy: Yeah, when you exit. Which door you going through?

Streit: Probably the one near the VIP entrance. That’s where I parked.

Cappy: Lotta thinking, smaht guy. Good choice. Is your family the one that makes that bread?

Streit: Bread, no. I don’t think so.

Cappy: Yeah, it’s this flat, kinda tasteless stuff. Not bad with some butter or jelly, but you know I can’t be over doing it on the sweets. Not with these abs, baby. Let’s talk about your defense.

Streit: OK………yes?

Cappy: I dunno. You go. I don’t pay much attention to defense. It gets boring. I notice you shoot sometimes, that’s cool. I like when you do. And sometimes the guy on the other team makes a move past you and shoots on our goalie. I like when that happens too, it’s why hockey’s an exciting game, boys, but I think you’re supposed to stop those guys now and then, right? Ain’t that how it works when you play defense?

Streit: Well, I mean…I stop them sometimes.

Cappy: Nah, not really. Not the good ones. OK, Einstreiter, good talk. Any last words?

Streit: Well, yes, I have some notes written down…."I know that this season did not go as we all wanted – "

Cappy: Whaddya mean? It went great. I’m still employed, for one. NO ONE saw that coming. Even my wife was like, “So I really don’t need this night job at Bed Bath and Beyond?”

Streit: Well, honestly, I wrote this down in October. And then revised it slightly after the lockout. But I never rewrote it once we started winning.

Cappy: Don’t want to jinx it. I get it. I got some superstitions myself. Only pink ties on Sundays, for example. Don’t mix pork and friends during a full moon when eating fries, that’s a big one.

Streit: I…..ok. Makes sense? I think.

Cappy: OK, Brian, thanks. Enjoy the summer and maybe the rest of your life. You’re asking too much if the rumors are true, but hey, that’s your right and I’m no GM…..yet……oh boy, Dougie, can you imagine this place when I’m GM?

Dougie: No, actually, no. I can’t even begin to imagine it….

Cappy: OK, who’s next on the alphabet – #3 – Travis Hamonic come on DOWN! You’re the next contestant on the WHEEL. OF. FORTUNE! Love that Vanna White, Dougie. Always had a thing for her.

Dougie: That’s like 3 different shows, Jack.

Cappy: Huh?

Dougie: No. Nothing, just….let’s get through these.