The Pre-Draft Quiz: Guess the Prospect!

The Islanders are notorious for their pre-draft psychological quiz given to prospects. We here at LHH didn't actually find misplaced copies of them, but we're going to pretend we did, so just play along, k? Cool. Thanks.

So read through our 9 questionnaires and take a guess as to who filled out each form.

PLAYER #1

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

This snake is nothing to me. I fear not venom. I pick it up and I explain how it was I that created this pitiful form in which it must exist. When it tries to bite me I laugh and bite it back, but I do not kill it. I instead put it back to the ground and tell it not to move or eat until I return and grant it permission. I then leave and other animals come and see its defeat and mock this creature. I never return.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

I would reach up to the moon, bring it to Earth and drive a racecar around it.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Both are weak, laughable cities a few miles outside of Copenhagen that suck because they are not Herning.

Guns or poems?

Both make me laugh at their ineffectiveness. As if I, XXXXX XXXXXXX, can be shot, moved, or reasoned with.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

Mostly I enjoy creating and destroying universes. I play a little guitar. I have an XBOX I really like too.

PLAYER #2

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

I will put my faith in the LORD and as it says in Mark 16 verse 18, "They will pick up serpents with their hands; and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover."

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

And unto you would I say that had the LORD wanted us on the moon so should we have been created on the moon; so racecar.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Both are processes of science and therefore condemned by the LORD.

Guns or poems?

Guns.....for Jesus. From the Book of Psalms: "Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle. Amen."

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

The LORD is my hobby, I shall not want. Hallelujah. I also have an XBOX 360 I really like.

PLAYER #3

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

Oh man, I love snakes. I'd probably be like, "Hey snake, you wanna hang out?" and then we'd like hang out and play hockey. Maybe get a milk shake or something. We'd totally be like best friends.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

Oh man, I love both the moon and racecars. Can I drive the racecar on the moon with my BFF Snakey? So awesome.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Oh man, I love biology.....but I don't remember this one. Something about eggs, I think? Awesome.

Guns or poems?

I like poems about guns. And guns with poems written on them.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

Oh man, I love so many things. Hockey and snakes and racecars and guns and the moon and poems and biology and snow and trees and small insects and moths, I collect butterflies sometimes - and fireflies - oh, I love when people are nice to each other and caring, I love laying out the big hits in hockey games and getting in the corners and the dirty areas and I love writing, I could sit here all day and write - or doodle, I like that too. I have an XBOX 360 which is awesome. I like killing penalties and - (continued on back)

PLAYER #4

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

I ask the snake if it wants to be a winner. If it says yes, I allow it on my team. If it says no, I walk away so as not to waste my time.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

I don't have time for either.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Mitosis is the process in which cells split, thus creating more cells I can use to win. I don't remember what meiosis is, but I have no time for it.

Guns or poems?

Neither win hockey games, stupid question.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

Winning, being better than you, XBOX 360.

PLAYER #5

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

I hit it.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

I'd like to hit things with the racecar.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Both are kinda cool because they split things apart - but by pulling. I'm more of a hitter.

Guns or poems?

Guns hit really hard, so that's cool. But a poem can hit your heart. That's awesome. So, Poem.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

I see something over there and then I build up speed and hit it. And XBOX 360.

PLAYER #6

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

SNAKES ARE SO COOL! I WOULD TOTALLY TAKE THAT SNAKE AND BE LIKE, "LET'S PLAY POWER RANGERS" AND I'D BE THE BLUE POWER RANGER AND THE SNAKE WOULD BE BAD GUY AND I'D USE MY LASER SWORD AND KILL IT!

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

MY MOM WON'T LET ME DRIVE EVENTHOUGH I BET I TOTALLY COULD. WALKING ON THE MOON IS AWESOME!

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

No words, just a doodle of what looks like Godzilla fighting a Megalodon and a bunch of helicopters.

Guns or poems?

GUNS! LASER GUNS!!!!! Poems are boring and don't make any sense.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

BEARS ARE AWESOME AND SHARKS AND MY MOM SAID WHEN I GET RICH AND OLDER I CAN BUY MY OWN SHARK TANK AND GET HAMMERHEAD SHARKS IN THERE AND XBOX 360.

PLAYER #7

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

I once tripped over a snake and dislocated my shoulder. I missed ¾ of a season. I'd probably go around it or just turn around.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

Walk on the Moon. I was in a fender bender once and dislocated my shoulder. I missed like ½ a season.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

I don't remember exactly, but I think they involve things being dislocated and ripped out of where they should be. Both sound dangerous. I'll work hard to avoid them.

Guns or poems?

Jeez...guns could cause season ending injuries, so poems. I figure the worst a poem could do is make me sad, but I can play through that - it's not like a dislocated shoulder.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

Mostly I just try to stay as still as possible and avoid contact with things. I also have a really, really padded chair I sit in when I play XBOX.

PLAYER #8

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

I call my agent who demands that the snake move out of my way or make me a new path to go around it.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

I would like to do both at the same time. If I crashed the car into a crater in what people say is one of most horrific wrecks of all time, I'd ask to be allowed to do it again. If you tell me "no" I'd call my agent and get a new car.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Are these different types of mouses? English is not my first language. Sorry.

Guns or poems?

Poems. We don't have guns in my country.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

I play XBOX 360 and represent XXXXXXXXXXX in the World Championships every spring.

PLAYER #9

You are walking down a path and a venomous snake is in your way. How do you handle the situation?

Score goals.

Would you rather walk on the moon or drive a racecar?

Score goals.

In your own words, explain the difference between mitosis and meiosis.

Both score less goals than me.

Guns or poems?

Score goals.

Tell us about your favorite hobby.

Scoring goals. Pong.

Handy-Dandy Pre-formated Ballot for you to copy and paste:

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