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The Wonderful Small Sample Case of Eric Boulton

The numbers don't lie, people.

"Who left Boulton open?!"
"Who left Boulton open?!"
Eric Hartline-USA TODAY Sports

Maybe we should have known when Eric Boulton scored in the preseason, on a breakaway, on future Hall of Famer Martin Brodeur.

This 2013-14 Eric Boulton, he is not your father's Eric Boulton. Oh no. This man is an efficient scoring machine.

Boulton's goal against the Flyers had the delightful result of keeping his curious (and completely unsustainable, but just go with me here) streak alive: Pound for pound, and minute for minute, Eric Boulton has been the Islanders' top offensive producer.

Of course, that means he should probably quit while he's ahead.

Eric Boulton is More Efficient than You.

It's true though: Given Boulton's limited minutes and game appearances as an enforcer, his totals of three points in six games -- and just 41 minutes of total ice time -- stand out. His average of roughly 4.5 points per 60 minutes (5-on-5) blows the rest of the team out of the water.

Get that man on the first line!

Eric Boulton is More Accurate than You.

Hey, if I had 18 Eric Boultons, this job would be easy. -Coaching Proverb

Not a sharp shooter, you say? The man's 14.3% shooting percentage is tied for third on the team, behind only the hot-start 21.4% of Matt Moulson (who's gone, but we're not gonna talk about that), the 19.2% of Frans Nielsen (who works in mysterious ways), and tied with the 14.3% of Casey Cizikas (who never shoots the damn puck).

But wait, there's more!

Eric Boulton is More Plus, and More Disciplined than You.

Boulton is +3. That's right. He's been on the ice for three goals for, and he played a key part in each one. Meanwhile, not a single goal against. Take that, Corsi-lover. This man fights, scores points, and racks up pluses in threes, baby. (Of his three fights, he's won two and drawn the third, according to voters at UNDEFEATED, people.)

Just an enforcer, a goon you say? Well he hasn't taken any minor penalties either, but he's drawn one. Disciplined fury, I tell you.

The numbers don't lie, the record is clear: Eric Boulton just produces and kicks ass. And draws penalties. And he doesn't need much time to do it. So take notes, passengers, and stop acting surprised when they lock him up in May.

Eric Boulton coming.



To be fair, Boulton has made nice hockey plays on two of his three points this season. But this post isn't actual fawning; more like appreciation for statistical blips in time.