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Top 5 Explanations for P.A. Parenteau Being 'Sick'

As you may have heard, P.A. Parenteau missed practice Monday due to illness, requiring a later eval to see if he can play Tuesday in Philadelphia.

Hopefully it's a brief thing, because he's be sorely missed, what with the Islanders already missing Travis Hamonic.

Parenteau, of course, is kind of important. His 36 assists lead the team and are 5th-most in the NHL. He's missed only one game as an Islander, piling up 100 points in 132 games -- yes, producing even when not next to John Tavares. Because we are Islanders fans, we are inherently paranoid. What's keeping Parenteau down?

  • 1. He's "sick" in a Philly flu kind of way.
  • 2. "Sick" is cover for a sordid, uglier-by-the-day custody battle over Hoppy the Bunny with former roommate and current Hoppy guardian Zenon Konopka. Expect "well placed sources" to leak family court documents to Larry Brooks any day now ... not that the Post would ever splash ink over someone's personal life.
  • 3. Just messing with rumor mongering Bruce "Malkin to the Kings" Garrioch, who misuses the word "likely" the way Ed Mangano misuses "new plan."
  • 4. He's 28, he's busted his butt to get past year-to-year deals, and now he's gonna get paid. A man can take a sick day.
  • 5. Thought it'd be funny to see Brian Rolston skate on the second line with Frans Nielsen and Michael Grabner. Real funny, P.A. Hardy har har.