LeBron Matlock Taken First Overall in NHL Lawyer Draft

NEW YORK (CP) _ The National Hockey League added another young gun to their legal team Saturday, selecting slick Mid-Western litigator LeBron Matlock first overall in the league's 2012 Lawyer Draft.

Holding the top pick for the 21st consecutive season, the NHL chose to add Matlock, the consensus number one attorney prospect in the country, to an already impressive collection of emerging litigation talent.

At a little under 5'7" and 155 pounds, Matlock is not big but makes up for his lack of size with a ruthlessness and legal cunning not seen for years in the league's Lawyer Draft. He is fiery with good hands for brief writing and has spent four years at Yale piling up some very gaudy law school stats and an armful of accolades.

Not short on confidence, Matlock said he felt he can help the NHL right away in its newly-filed suit against the NHL Players Association.

"I think yeah, why not?" said Matlock. "I have lots of time for work in this holiday season since I have no religious or familial obligations to worry about. I think I'm ready for the NHL's legal team."

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman called the Ohioan a "dynamic legal talent."

"Whenever I saw him get in all alone on a judge, he didn't miss. He was all in," said Bettman. "He has the potential -- and I want to say potential -- to file 30 suits (a season). Maybe more. You can't win without dragging someone through a courtroom and crushing their spirit forever. And LeBron has that ability."

"(Matlock) is hungry to perform, he's hungry to win," added NHL attorney Bob Batterman, himself a first round Lawyer Draft pick of the league back in 1993. "He's an emotional lawyer, an explosive ball-buster. So for us, trying to think of what that's going to look like with all of our other legal talent, it's exciting."

In addition to Matlock, the NHL also drafted highly-touted New York prosecutor Jacqueline McCoy and California contracts phenom Mason Perry. Both are expected to get a look at the league's rookie lawyer camp this summer, but will most likely be returned to their current offices for more seasoning.

With its final pick on day one, the NHL selected hulking 5-11 Czech defense attorney Zdeno Spitzer, who is projected as a raw researching talent with a high upside.

The NHL is currently embroiled in a bitter lockout which has so far cancelled 526 games and scattered its 700-plus players across the globe looking for ice time. After unsuccessful negotiations, marathon meetings, revolving rosters on either side, rising tension and take-it-or-leave-it offers being put on then pulled off of tables at a daily rate, the NHL's legal team is always looking to bolster its prospect pool with potential star litigators.

The NHLPA forfeited their picks this year and executive director Don Fehr is considering undergoing a top-to-bottom franchise rebuild. Competition for roster spots is to be determined via Hunger Games-style mortal combat among players. TSN's Bob McKenzie is projecting Vancouver forward and killer of mythical beasts David Booth to be the top selection there.

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I pretty much just ripped off this article and changed the names. Enter "it's all a game to them" joke here.

Obligatory: I have a lot of friends who are lawyers. Please don't sue me.