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Islanders Bits, NHL Power Rankings: Parity and Parody

By Dominik
Nice move.
Nice move.

Here is your latest weekly sampling of media opinions and rankings on the Isles, as well as our regularly calculated NHL power rankings. As a bonus, this week we've added something a little different: Parody Power Rankings. But first:

Media Rankings Survey

Here is what they're actually saying (before yesterday's thumping of Florida).

Seriously, at ESPN the difference between LeBrun vs. Burnside write-ups is stark and predictable. LeBrun this week, obviously.

Outlet Rank Last Week Their Commentary
CBSSports 24 25
 Playing loose and a bit of the spoiler role as well these days.
Cbs. Dispatch 25 28
 Four different goalies have won during a 7-3-0 run, and they aren't household names: Poulin, Koskinen, Montoya, Lawson.
ESPN 24 27 It may not matter to some, but the young Isles are 7-3-0 in their past 10 and playing some of their best hockey of the season.
Sportsnet (Brophy) 28 27 Matt Moulson scores two goals against his brother-in-law, Jonathan Quick, in a 3-0 win over the Kings.
TSN
(Cullen)		 20 28 Could the Islanders' desperation be just what G Al Montoya needs to get his career on track? With a 1.72 goals against average and .937 save percentage in nine career appearances, the sixth overall pick in 2004 has at least earned a look.
Average 24.2 27.0 Oh wait, they're winning? I don't have a pre-arranged narrative for that.

Parody Rankings

...And hear is what we imagine they're really saying.

Since we've been doing this each week and everyone has read the random media commentary with a mix of dread, ridicule and bemusement, it just seems like this is a natural next step. Welcome to the Parody Power Rankings:

Outlet Rank Last Week Their Commentary
Ewan Firewatcher,
Favre & Poker Network 		28 30
 The Islanders may have won this week, but still: Alexei Yashin, Mike Milbury.
Central Ohio Picayune
 29 27
 Leave it to the Islanders to win but show no class by scoring three times on Moulson's brother-in-law.
Len Tootsie, Empire Tabloids Inc.
 32 n/a* The Islanders are 7-3-0 but make no mistake, Wrist Shots has learned that the NHL still refuses to take over the club.
The Omen, Toronto Shameless & Record 28 28 The Islanders' hot February will do nothing to stop John Tavares from fleeing to play in Ontario where he rightfully belongs.

*was actually watching the Rangers

 

Real Power Rankings

As always, these are updated through Sunday's games. Formula and calculations courtesy of our own ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles -- who is usually the one you'll find thanklessly compiling FIG picks in the game thread.

Explanation of how he does it is in the original post. If you have any questions about it, leave them in comments and he'll likely answer. For reference, last week's post is here.

    W L OTL Pts GP Win% Pts%/GP PWR
1 Vancouver 38 13 9 85 60 0.708 0.3787 2080
2 Detroit 37 16 6 80 59 0.678 0.3720 2053
3 Philadelphia 39 15 5 83 59 0.703 0.3772 2044
4 Tampa Bay 34 18 7 75 59 0.636 0.3466 1874
5 Pittsburgh 36 19 5 77 60 0.642 0.3448 1872
6 Phoenix 32 19 9 73 60 0.608 0.3378 1866
7 Nashville 31 20 8 70 59 0.593 0.3354 1852
8 San Jose 33 21 6 72 60 0.600 0.3325 1838
9 Minnesota 31 22 6 68 59 0.576 0.3257 1795
10 Boston 33 19 7 73 59 0.619 0.3312 1788
11 Los Angeles 32 23 4 68 59 0.576 0.3256 1785
12 Anaheim 32 24 4 68 60 0.567 0.3221 1765
13 Washington 31 19 10 72 60 0.600 0.3241 1750
14 Chicago 30 23 6 66 59 0.559 0.3128 1731
15 St. Louis 27 21 9 63 57 0.553 0.3138 1727
16 Dallas 31 22 6 68 59 0.576 0.3129 1726
17 Calgary 31 22 8 70 61 0.574 0.3106 1708
18 Columbus 29 23 6 64 58 0.552 0.3082 1698
19 Montreal 31 22 7 69 60 0.575 0.3066 1650
20 NY Rangers 31 26 4 66 61 0.541 0.2907 1580
21 Carolina 28 24 8 64 60 0.533 0.2799 1531
22 Atlanta 25 25 10 60 60 0.500 0.2740 1491
23 Buffalo 27 25 6 60 58 0.517 0.2737 1484
24 Colorado 25 27 7 57 59 0.483 0.2702 1481
25 Florida 25 26 7 57 58 0.491 0.2708 1470
26 Toronto 25 27 7 57 59 0.483 0.2544 1384
27 New Jersey 25 30 4 54 59 0.458 0.2527 1366
28 NY Islanders 22 30 7 51 59 0.432 0.2364 1284
29 Edmonton 19 32 8 46 59 0.390 0.2122 1170
30 Ottawa 19 31 9 47 59 0.398 0.2084 1135

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