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Islanders New Year's Resolutions

Well, its a new year. And a new year means a fresh start, a new begining, a blank page even if you're team currently sits 29th out of 30 NHL teams. As we welcome 2011, I thought I would take a look at what current and former Islanders have chosen for their New Years resolutions. So join me after the jump to see what some of our favorites have in store for the coming year! (Note: Everything that follows is sic-ed)

Blake Comeau - Well, my resolution is to stop dancing around the perimeter in the offensive zone and to actually go to the net. Maybe then I can finally fulfill my offensive potential. I mean I want to be more than what Robert Nilsson amounted to, right?

Rick DiPietro - Can I resolve to not be injured all the time? Is that something I can accomplish? (Apparently not)

Zenon Konopka - I do solemnly resolve to not fight anyone that glances at me and taking stupid penalties. My coach trusts me with ice time and taking important face-offs, so why should I then go screw my team over by running the goalie or accepting Brandon Prust's invitation to dance?

James Wisniewski - Now that I'm a Canadien, I will teach PK Subban everything there is to know about obscene gestures.

John Tavares -  I will convince the NHL to expand the goal so I won't hit anymore posts. I'm sick of hearing that clang every time I shoot the puck.

Frans Nielsen - Kidnap my fellow Danes Peter Regin, Jannick Hansen and Mikkel Bodker and bring them to Long Island.

Jon Sim - #$^%@ you @#%$%^$%.

Jack Hillen - I will stop thinking and holding the puck too long.

Bruno Gervais - Well I will apply to the Culinary Institute of America and complete my lifelong dream of being Quebec's answer to Paula Dean.

Josh Bailey - SHOOT THE PUCK!

Rob Schremp - There's something I need to change? But I'm awesome!

Andrew MacDonald - To continue doing push ups without a shirt on while wearing chains. Maybe if I continue to do that on a regular basis people will begin to recognize me.

Scott Gordon - I've got nothing to to resolve! I'm getting paid to grow awesome beards now that Garth fired me as coach and made me an "adviser" and I don't have to deal with guys like Chris Campoli and Blake Comeau not listening to me anymore.

Garth Snow - We'll see out our lease to 2015 and we're not trading any of our prospects. Oh, wait, you're not asking me about the lease or what roster movements I've been plotting? I can't remember the last time that happened. Well, I guess my resolution is what ever Mr. Wang wants it to be.

Jack Capuano - I will start wearing glasses so my transformation into Peter Griffin will be complete.

Charles Wang - No more long term contracts. No more long term contracts. No more long term contracts.

Howie Rose - I will start particularly caring.

Butch Goring - I will learn how to pronounce at least the Islanders names correctly. Maybe it's because I couldn't pronounce Branislav Mezei, Robert Petrovicky or Mariusz Czerkawski that I got fired as the Islanders head coach.

Mike Milbury - Well, my resolution is to not beat up anymore fans with their shoes. Well, that and hopefully stopping giving that WebBard guy more ammo to write about on the interwebs. Maybe I can build a time machine and stop myself from making all those stupid trades.