Lighthouse Hockey, a New York Islanders community

In the exciting conclusion of H.R.R. Tolkien's "The Lord of the Revenues" trilogy, the war for Hockey-earth is finally decided. Strider Scot L. Arabaugh readies for battle, while hobbit Grodo Bettmins attempts to conquer the horrors of Mount Lockout.

With the lockout looming for the NHL, hockey analysts from the great white north come up with wonderful ideas like contracting the Islanders.