Lighthouse Hockey, a New York Islanders community

San Jose Sharks forward Raffi Torres will miss a charity barbecue this Memorial Day weekend after being suspended for yet another dangerous hit. (parody)

The Islanders season ended with an overtime loss to the Pittsburgh Penguins. So let's say a few kind words about their season. On second thought...how about some unkind ones?

Internet troll Brian Buzzi feels his personal attacks, homophobic slurs and over-the-line insults are prepped and ready for the second round of the NHL playoffs.

Unsung checking forward Bryan Trottier had a fairy tale career with the Pittsburgh Penguins, rising from nowhere to become a key role-player for hockey's most decorated franchise. His story is a lesson in perseverance and dedication. (parody)

This Spring, don't jump on the Islanders bandwagon without first reading this handy users guide. Includes safety information, troubleshooting tips and an illustration of the bandwagon's high-tech contents.

With Nassau Coliseum set to host its first playoff games since 2007, county Executive Ed Mangano is looking to score some tickets. In an RFP to Islanders fans, Mangano hopes to lock down a few seats in exchange for favors and kickbacks. (parody)

Looking to re-center himself and achieve enlightenment after a second trying season in the spotlight of Philadelphia, Flyers goalie Ilya Bryzgalov has announced his intention to join a Tibetan monastery after this season's conclusion. (parody)

The Phoenix Coyotes finally have a new owner following The Undertaker's victory over CM Punk at Wrestlemania 29. The four-time WWE champion defeated Punk by pinfall and was awarded ownership of the troubled hockey franchise. (parody)

Beset by injuries and falling out of the playoff race, the Philadelphia Flyers turn to their corporate roommates for help. Can Kwame Brown man the point on the power play? (parody)

North Korean supreme leader and die-hard Panthers fan Kim Jong-un has threatened a nuclear strike over the NHL's realignment plan because of Florida's inclusion in a division with northern cities Boston, Montreal, Toronto & Detroit. (parody)