Lighthouse Zeitgeist

Monday Mystery: WHO is the next Isles captain?

The New York Islanders will announce their next captain on Monday, Sept. 9. I wonder who it is?

13-14 Previews: Getzlaf's Barber on the Pacific

Humberto de la Cruz has been the personal barber for Anaheim captain Ryan Getzlaf for years. Lighthouse Hockey caught up with Humberto to get his unique and comprehensive look at the teams in the NHL's Pacific Division. (satire)

EA Courts Controversy with NHL 14's "Olympic Mode"

EA Sports gives Lighthouse Hockey an exclusive look inside NHL 14's new "Olympic Mode." For the first time in the series, players can create controversial teams, design bad jerseys and bring gay panic to the virtual streets of Sochi, Russia. (satire)

Gallery

SLIDESHOW: How Nassau Can Win Back the Isles

A step-by-step plan (and rejected Bleacher Report slideshow) on how Nassau County can get the Islanders to stop this silly move to Brooklyn and just come home already. (satire)

NHL Preview: 'Perfect Strangers Timmy & The Bryz'

Tim Thomas and Ilya Bryzgalov star in NHL Network's new original reality sitcom "Perfect Strangers: Timmy & the Bryz." Can a hockey-centric update of a classic 80's show save the network? (parody)

Mangano: Greased Palms & Money Monolith exhibits

County Executive Ed Mangano has announced a spate of new attractions for the soon-to-be redeveloped Nassau Hub. Highlights include a "Greased Palms Across Nassau" art piece and a "Money Under the Table Monolith." (satire)

The Final Cappy Exit Interview: XI(b)

Closing up an (apparent) 11-part series of Jack Capuano's nonsensical exit interviews with the 2012 (but not really) - 2013 New York Islanders hockey team.

Exit Interviews: Cappy vs A-Mac vs Frans

Our fictional series of coach exit interviews reaches its inevitable conclusion: Threats by Frans Nielsen to destroy us all.

Zeitgeist: Coyotes Owners Appalled by Property

The Phoenix Coyotes ownership saga is finally over, but when the new owners opened the team's doors, they were greeted with nothing but garbage, feces, rotting food and broken down cars. (satire)

NHL Free Agents To Form Barnstorming Travel Team

Tired of waiting for offers for their services, Tim Thomas, Ilya Bryzgalov, Mikhail Grabovski and other NHL free agents will barnstorm North America playing exhibition games against all local comers. Or Not. (satire)

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