Lighthouse Zeitgeist
Humor, parody, fiction and other things to make us laugh from the New York Islanders and the wider world of hockey.
Scientists Make Amazing Hockey Discovery
In perhaps the unlikeliest academic breakthrough of the year, a group of paleontologists has made a discovery so remarkable and so shocking that it could shake the very nexus of science and sports. Or not.
LHH Investigates: Where is Secret NHL CBA Meeting?
This week's secret meetings between the NHL and NHLPA might lead to a new CBA and the end of the lockout. But where are the meetings taking place? Researchers at the Lighthouse Hockey Institute investigate.
Has Hurricane Sandy Affected the NHL? Who cares?
Two recent disasters have damaged a large portion of North America - one has caused great heartache, inconvenience and soul-searching among those affected. The other was Hurricane Sandy.
Read the NHLPA's Unannounced 4th CBA Proposal
The NHL rejected three counter-offers presented by the NHLPA on Thursday. But early reports indicated that there was a fourth proposal coming from the players. So what happened to the missing offer? Well, we have it right here.
Are You a JIM? You're not alone.
Sympathies to those cursed with following the Jets, Islanders and Mets.
H.R.R. Tolkien's 'The Fellowship of the Revenue'
Young hobbit Grodo Bettmins is given a monumental task: stop the dark lord Fehron and his army of players from conquering Hockey-earth and taking all the owner's money in H.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy classic, "The Fellowship of the Revenue."
NHL Lockout: Tearing the American family apart
In the satirical "Death of a Hockey Salesman," lifetime hockey fan Willy Loman struggles to find meaning in a world of lockouts, lawyers and lost games.
NHL CBA negotiations, GlenGarry Glen Ross-style
Broadway's newest (fake) hit takes a raw, uncompromising look at the cutthroat NHL CBA negotiations which resume this weekend. Remember: Coffee is for closers.
Lockout Lit: '50 Shades of Milbury'
Toronto Maple Leafs general manager Brian Burke meets a kindred spirit in the explosive bestseller "50 Shades of Milbury."
Zeitgeist: NHL Engraves Lockout Statement on Stanley Cup
With the NHL getting so good at lockouts, it's time they engrave their prepared statement on the lockout to the Stanley Cup.
Life Tips: Protecting Your TV, Guiding Your Significant Other Through the NHL Lockout
The most important thing for fans during the NHL lockout is to protect long-established territory in the home and on the couch.
Video Game Review: Ice Hockey Lockout (Atari 2600)
A satirical look at a (fake) classic video game that lets NHLPA players take on NHL Collective Bargaining negotiations.
PBS Presents: "LOCKOUT," an 8-part film by Ken Burns
With another potential NHL lockout on the horizon, this satire looks at how documentary filmmaker extraordinaire Ken Burns would tackle the subject. (Spoiler: it would be really, really long)
LHH Zeitgeist Op-Ed: Clarifying My 'Greatest Fans' Statement, by Gary Bettman
A satirical op-ed piece by NHL Commish Gary Bettman addressing "the greatest fans in the world."
Video: Fans Blame Superstitions in Post-Game
Video: With superstitions and routines, fans often think they can affect the outcome of pro sports games. So when they screw up, they blame themselves.
Transcript: NHL Disciplinary Video for Lubomir
A satirical take on Islanders defenseman (for now) Lubomir Visnovsky's racing accident over the weekend.
Like a Spanish Flu: NHL to Raise Banners Honoring Latest Lockout
A satire of the latest potential NHL lockout scenario. Why raise player numbers to the rafters when you can honor labor disputes?
Today's Islanders to Brooklyn Forecast: Cloudy with Partial Danza
In the interest of keeping fans abreast of the latest news, Lighthouse Hockey is proud to introduce the Islanders to Brooklyn Forecast, a convenient widget tracking the team's possible migration from Nassau County to Kings County.
LHH Zeitgeist: What a Nassau County RFQ Application Looks Like
As another call is put out to developers for plans for a new Nassau Coliseum, this satire looks at the form interested developers must submit to County offices.
TBS Announces New Original Series "Everybody Hates the Islanders"
A parody TV series based on the Islanders and their repeated troubles acquiring veteran players.
LHH Zeitgeist: Nassau Leaders Announce Plans to See 'The Dark Knight Rises'
Constantly bickering Nassau County leaders decide to take in "The Dark Knight Rises." What could possibly go wrong?
LHH Zeitgeist: Snakes & Lockouts! The Game of Collective Bargaining Negotiation
A satirical take on early NHL CBA negotiations in the form of a board game that all the kids will want this Fall.
Transcript: NHL Disciplinary Video for Cam Janssen
A satirical look at the recent outrageous remarks made by the Devils' Cam Janssen in the form of a parody of NHL safety videos.
As 2036 Approaches, Officials Push New Plan for Former Nassau Hub
In the spirit of Blade Runner and Total Recall, this parody looks at Nassau County and the Islanders' long-standing arena battle.
LHH Zeitgeist: The Declaration of Isles Dependence
A satirical Declaration of New York Islanders Dependence.
Zeitgeist: Islanders 2012-2013 Season Ends With Disappointing 4-1 Loss on Sunday
After one day of free agency, is the Islanders' season already over? This parody story says it is.
LHH Zeitgeist: U-Haul Truck Rates for NHL Free Agents
LHH Satire: Updated U-Haul Truck Rates for NHL Free Agents. When you get paid mountains of cash, let us move them for you.
LHH Zeitgeist EXCLUSIVE: Garth Snow's Pre-Draft Itinerary
What was Garth Snow thinking when offered a shocking trade of draft picks to Columbus GM Scott Howson? A procured e-mail from the Islanders may have the answers. Or it might be a parody.
No Line Pictures Picks Up Indie Film 'Se7en Is7anders De7ensemen'
A satirical Islanders version of the movie "se7en." This time, instead of seven deadly sins, it's seven defensemen, all selected in the same draft.
Horror At The Hockey Draft - A Choose Your Own Adventure Novel
Choose Your Own Adventure: "Horror at the Hockey Draft." A satirical take on some of the Islanders' past pitfalls at the NHL draft.