Lighthouse Zeitgeist

Humor, parody, fiction and other things to make us laugh from the New York Islanders and the wider world of hockey.

Isles Resurrect Ghost of Radek Martinek


The Islanders have turned to an old, lost soul and released the ghost of Radek Martinek into the NHL following the loss of Lubomir Visnovsky to a concussion last weekend. UPDATE: He'll play in...

Zeitgeist: Ryan Miller's No Movement Clause


Lighthouse Hockey has an EXCLUSIVE look at Ryan Miller's No Movement Clause, that pesky five year old document that's keeping him from being traded to whatever team you want to trade him to. (satire)

Zeitgeist: 'Passenger' Isles to Live on Airplane


To shake up the sluggish Islanders, coach Jack Capuano announced that the team will live, sleep & eat aboard a Lufthansa 737 during an upcoming four-game homestand. "They wanna play like...

Flyers Name Sylvester Stallone Head Coach


Concerned about the team's direction, the Flyers have fired new coach Craig Berube and named movie legend Sylvester Stallone head coach. Stallone vows to lean on his action movie experience to...

Zeitgeist: NHL Shuts Down In Impasse Over Fighting


The National Hockey League shut down Wednesday, with those opposed to fighting in the sport continuing to demand that the league's goons be removed and commissioner Gary Bettman and traditionalists...

More Predictions for the 13-14 NHL Season


Everybody and their mother is predicting team records and award winners for this season. But only Lighthouse Hockey predicts which team will stop paying the bills, which ref will be become a heel...

Magic: NHL Preseason Bloodbath Card Set Released


Wizards of the Coast unveil their most brutal and gruesome card game yet - NHL Preseason Bloodbath. Unleash fighters, goons, headhunters and enforcers against your friends in a battle for...

It's John Tavares's Birthday Party!


Lighthouse Hockey celebrates the Islanders captain/savior's 23rd birthday. We have cake, games, singing and a card to sign. Happy birthday, big guy. (* - Actual John Tavares not expected to attend)

13-14 Metropolitan Preview by Staal Cousin Oliver


Young Oliver Staal is the 11-year-old cousin of NHL players Eric, Jordan, Jared & Marc Staal. Oliver gives Lighthouse Hockey the kind of in-depth analysis of the Metropolitan Division that only a...

Zeitgeist: Other Uniform Changes for 2013-14


The uniform rules changes released last week by the NHL were only the beginning. An unreleased memo obtained by Lighthouse Hockey outlines even more new and updated rules that are sure to upset and...

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