Lighthouse Zeitgeist

Humor, parody, fiction and other things to make us laugh from the New York Islanders and the wider world of hockey.

Zeitgeist: Ryan Miller's No Movement Clause

24

Lighthouse Hockey has an EXCLUSIVE look at Ryan Miller's No Movement Clause, that pesky five year old document that's keeping him from being traded to whatever team you want to trade him to. (satire)

Zeitgeist: 'Passenger' Isles to Live on Airplane

16

To shake up the sluggish Islanders, coach Jack Capuano announced that the team will live, sleep & eat aboard a Lufthansa 737 during an upcoming four-game homestand. "They wanna play like...

Flyers Name Sylvester Stallone Head Coach

21

Concerned about the team's direction, the Flyers have fired new coach Craig Berube and named movie legend Sylvester Stallone head coach. Stallone vows to lean on his action movie experience to...

Zeitgeist: NHL Shuts Down In Impasse Over Fighting

13

The National Hockey League shut down Wednesday, with those opposed to fighting in the sport continuing to demand that the league's goons be removed and commissioner Gary Bettman and traditionalists...

More Predictions for the 13-14 NHL Season

135

Everybody and their mother is predicting team records and award winners for this season. But only Lighthouse Hockey predicts which team will stop paying the bills, which ref will be become a heel...

Magic: NHL Preseason Bloodbath Card Set Released

43

Wizards of the Coast unveil their most brutal and gruesome card game yet - NHL Preseason Bloodbath. Unleash fighters, goons, headhunters and enforcers against your friends in a battle for...

It's John Tavares's Birthday Party!

26

Lighthouse Hockey celebrates the Islanders captain/savior's 23rd birthday. We have cake, games, singing and a card to sign. Happy birthday, big guy. (* - Actual John Tavares not expected to attend)

13-14 Metropolitan Preview by Staal Cousin Oliver

6

Young Oliver Staal is the 11-year-old cousin of NHL players Eric, Jordan, Jared & Marc Staal. Oliver gives Lighthouse Hockey the kind of in-depth analysis of the Metropolitan Division that only a...

Zeitgeist: Other Uniform Changes for 2013-14

12

The uniform rules changes released last week by the NHL were only the beginning. An unreleased memo obtained by Lighthouse Hockey outlines even more new and updated rules that are sure to upset and...

13-14 Central Preview by Trotz's Chiropractor

10

Isaac Freeman has been the chiropractor for Nashville Predators coach Barry Trotz since 2002. Because of his intimate relationship with the coach, Lighthouse Hockey asked Isaac to preview the...

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