FanPost

Guide to dealing with the people that you will now encounter during this rags insurgency

"Heard we're winning...where can I buy this with the Lundkwist guy on it?" - Ben Hoskins

To all the young fans out there who didn't have the pleasure of living through the worst Islander season ever (1994), I will pass on some knowledge that I have learned while suffering through those months. I'm sure all of you have finally got a taste of what it is like in the past 24 hours but it is good to point out the following people you will now encounter during this horrible time and how to deal with them.

1) The all of a sudden asshole neighbor.

Sure, you and he/she never really spoke to each other very much. It is also quite possible that you really don't like each other very much. For the next 2 weeks, this douchebag/ bitch will be "all up in yo' face" about the rags. The over-pronounced New York accent will be in full affect when he/she tells you about that goal he/she saw last night. Of course the shock value of this encounter is the element of surprise. This person never revealed their allegiance to you in your life, but now they have come out of the closet to put it in your face. Maybe it was many years of holding in their rag fandom to you waiting for the right time. This person is the battle axe next door. It will be like dealing with a dog barking for raw meat.

Solution: Just say, yeah that was great, I'm still an Isles fan... and fuck you!

2) The front runner "hot girl"

Yes kids, we all know that a girl loves a winner. This will be hard to deal with for the time being. They will all of a sudden hang around the douchebag rag fans, and parrot everything they say. It will be hard hearing this from her if you are known as a die hard isles fan, but you are going to have to take it. Sorry bud... Racking up a girl, especially a hot girl is a no no. Let it go... Even after the rags lose say something classy like 'hey it must have been nice to have something to root for for the past 2 months. Wish I did."

3) The pink hat fan:

Yep, we've seen it time and time again and this is the most vicious of all the torment we as islander fans receive. "The pink hat fan" is a fan that only follows the game when his/her team wins. They have an especially branded suck about them because they know how to memorize all the stats at any given moment and repeat team bullshit like a political talking head on Crossfire. These are the people that will sing '1983 last one you'll ever see,' and not even know what that means. They are annoying and they multiply with each win. A true flock mentality exists here among pink hat Rag fans. These people never saw a regular season game in their life but they get "all on it" when the playoffs come around.

Solution: Let them talk, then hope the rags lose so this way you can put it in their face after its all said and done. If the rags god forbid win, just lay low. There is nothing you can do about it. They have all the ammunition while we have sticks and rocks. We have to realize that we are the underdogs in this equation. We will always get picked on by front runners and pink hats till we win again. It should be known that these are the people that breed the real true Islanders fans. Maybe your generation will have the opportunity that we in our late 20's to early 40's never had. These are the pieces of shit that made us real fans spawn the first isles-net list back in the mid 90's. God speed kids! May you have fun fucking with these assholes next week. Don't hold back and be gentleman, if the rags lose, do it for us older guys and destroy these assholes. Make them all cry and wish they never said the word rangers ever in their entire lives. Make tinfoil Stanley Cups filled of stale beer and piss and dump it on their heads! SERIOUSLY! Video will be much appreciated.

4) Your annoying loser cousin from (name a borough):

Yep this shithead has been in your family for all you life and you hate his guts not only because he is a rag fan but for other reasons. You only see this person because you are forced to due to family bullshit. He will have all the reign on father's day to make fun of the isles if they win. He most likely is a diehard fan but acts like the worst pink hat fan on earth.

Solution: just remind this asshole that once you never have to see him again, you never will.

5) Annoying people that "root for the New York team:"

This is especially annoying because they have no idea what fandom is. They have no idea that when you choose a side you stick with it and hate your rivals. These people are the ones that will most likely label you a hater. This is annoying because these people usually exist at work, school and other places where many different types of people are forced to coexist.

Solution: don't get involved with these people. Ignore them for they don't even know how to pronounce half the names on the ice. In two weeks they will forget everything so it is of no consequence, just don't get into arguments with them. They will have no idea what is behind the pain we've had to suffer.


6) Finally... the die hard fan:

The die hard fan has watched every game since he/she was little. This is the only person who deserves to win anything that team puts together; however, depending on the treatment you have given them through the years, this person will act accordingly. They may get nasty when it is all said and done. Respect is the number one thing here because this person is you in a different jersey. Do not gloat after the rags lose. Say, hey bud, great series, hopefully the isles will challenge you next year. If you gloat to them you will be in the wrong. Save the gloating for the pink hat fans who deserve it.

LET'S GO ISLANDERS!

<em>Submitted FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog or SB Nation. If you're reading this statement, you pass the fine print legalese test. Four stars for you.</em>

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