Cappy Interviews Part X: The Plot of Strait, #40 Grabner, Return of the Prodigal D-man.

"Sorry you sign 3 years more, Brian. I am done after this game. See how happy I am?" - Bruce Bennett

We are past the halfway mark! Will Lou Lamoriello make a guest appearance? Tune in and find out.

Editor's Note: If you don't know what's going on here, you best go back to the beginning and then catch up as they continued here and here, plus here, and here, here and here...(No, they don't add up to ten.)

Cappy: OK Dougie, next.

Dougie: #37, Brian Strait.

Cappy: Didn't he go second?

Dougie: No, that was Mark Streit, he went first.

Cappy: Mark Streit's #2, right?

Dougie: Right.

Cappy: That's what I said, stop confusing me....now, who is Brian Strait?

Dougie: D Man.

Cappy: Not ringing a bell....

Dougie: Got hurt, missed a lot of games.

Cappy: Ahh.....nope. Nothing.

Moulson: Dude has a sick, sick beard, bro.

Cappy: OH - Beard Guy. Yeah, ok, got it. Beard Guy, come on down. I dunno, Dougie, it worth interviewing this guy? No way he's coming back.

Dougie: Actually, he's signed for three more seasons...

Cappy: Three? Geez. I mean, I'm not one to question the Gahthfathah, but what the $%&* kinda deal is that.

Strait: Hey.

Cappy: This guy? Seriously, three years?

Strait: Uhh....yeah.

Cappy: You got pictures of Gahth or something?

Strait: No.

Cappy: Then it's Mr. Wang?

Strait: Correct.

Cappy: OK, he's pulling a D-PAINT - DP All In Negotiation Tactic. It's a bold move. Smaht move, shoulda held out for more money and more years though, Kevin.

Strait: Three sounded long enough. And it's "Brian."

Cappy: Kevin, Brian. Whatevah. OK, let's get to it....umm, only notes I have are a drawing of a beard with a little stick guy under it. I'm gonna assume that's you. So, yeah, good beard. Pick a door.

Strait: 3.

Cappy: OK....and just to be clear, you didn't you sign with Philly, correct?

Strait: No, that was Mark Streit.

Cappy: Right.....the smaht guy. You smaht? I'm gonna need a new Einstreiter next yeauh, you up to it?

Strait: Well, I mean, I guess I'm ok.

Cappy: Where'd you go to college?

Strait: Boston University.

Cappy: Oh boy. Dougie, I can't take a BU guy for that job. BC? Maybe, but BU? That's like making a mockery of the whole thing. What's that saying? "Ham no burger?" No way. I'm gonna need a new smaht guy for next yeauh. Let's do some IQ tests this offseason. We got any Ivy League guys?

Moulson: I went to Cornell, and shit.

Cappy: Cornell don't count. I'm talking Hahvahd, Yale, Princeton. Smaht schools like that. Just cause it got Ivy on the walls don't mean it's an Ivy League school, Matty. It ain't no Bahbahzon.

Moulson: No, it really is though. I built a time machine once.

Cappy: I'm done with this conversation. Johnny T - when you talk to Gahth about the free agents, tell em we need a smaht guy too. Brian - enjoy your summer. Next, #40, Grabner. Hey, Grabner, look I got nothing aga-

Grabner: runs in Seven. runs out

Cappy:...-and he's gone. Well, at least he signed off. Next...OK, Ullstrom - HE BETTER BE GONE. He gone?

Okposo: jogs in, out of breath, COACH - I FOLLOWED ULLSTROM AND JOENSUU AS FAR AS THE THROGS NECK BUT COULD NOT CROSS SINCE I DID NOT BRING MY EZ PASS AND THEY DON'T ALLOW FOOT TRAFFIC. I AM ASHAMED OF MY FAILURE, BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THEY ARE GONE, PROBABLY IN CONNECTICUT BY NOW. ALSO, MY BEST DOOR WAS 9, BUT I AM NOW FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND VERSED IN EACH AND EVERY EXIT. DOWN AND GIVING YOU 50 ANYWAY!

Cappy: I'm not even sure how to respond to that, so I'm not gonna. Who we up to Dougie?

Lubo comes running in.

Lubo: I have forget my passport. Do not mind, I am just here for second...Kyle, why you no stop when taxi stop to pick you up? We see you on Belt Parkway, yes?

KO: CAN'T GET ANY CARDIO DONE IN A CAB.

Lubo: Ah, I see. Make sen- a net snaps up from under Lubo, trapping him and holding him suspended above the floor. NO! NO! I MUST GO FREEDOM! I AM FREEDOM NOW! LET ME DOWN AND FREE!

Cappy: This will only take a minute, and sorry, but there's no other way to get you to stay put. Now, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but Gahth and your agent worked out an ex-

Lubo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Don't say it! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cappy: Sorry, buddy, but yeah. The "E" word. Extension. 2 years. I know it's not what you wanted, but some things just have to be. Hey, at least Strait is gone.

Dougie: Streit.

Cappy: What I say?

Dougie: Strait.

Cappy: Beard or no beard?

Dougie: Beard - here. No beard - Philly.

Cappy: Got it. Someone cut Lubo down. Get him some tissues. You can cry it out in my office, sorry there's no furniture but Moulson and his friend cleaned me out.

Lubo: No, this fine. I just cry here next to the pushups, Kyle Okposo.

KO: I WELCOME THE COMPANY!

Cappy: Only a few left, boys. Who's next?

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