FanPost

OMG A Lundqvisting Draft Post!

Who's the Niederberger, who's the Niederreiter? - Christof Koepsel

But this draft post has a different flavor. This one isn't about drafting great players or prospects. This one is about drafting guys whose names would make Butchie's head explode and Peter Ruttgazer rend his tongue from his mouth.

This is the 2013 Islanders NHL Entry Draft: Mouth Mauling Edition

1st Round - Jaakko Rakkolainen, F, Lukko (5'9" 161 lbs)

The two Warner Brothers leave sister Dot behind, and Peter and Butch are off to meet Hello Nurse after trying to learn this name.

2nd Round - Mathias Niederberger, G, Barrie Colts (5'11" 174 lbs)

Nilsson, Nelson, Nielsen... Streit, Strait... Niederreiter, Niederberger. Soon, Butch and Peter will just be saying "That guy"

3rd Round - Nikolajs Jelisejevs, LW, HK Riga (5'11" 190 lbs)

Skating on a line with Jesse Joensuu, this WJC gold medal winning winger will cause Peter so many nightmares, he'll burst into tears when he sees a box of Jello in the supermarket.

4th Round - Sam Povorozniouk, F, Kingston Frontenacs (5'10" 183 lbs)

This Illinois native would soon become the islanders' version of Ichiro, after it takes an entire period for Butch to actually get his last name out.

5th Round - Nicholas Hollendonner, LW, Vienna Capitals (6'2" 198 lbs)

Will officially change his name to Holland-Diner, Helen-Keller, Halle-Berry or Donner-Party, at least in intermission interviews.

6th Round - Cameron Gotaas, F, Camrose Kodiaks (5'11" 165 lbs)

Baby may got back, but Cameron sure got ass. "Matt Martin, Gotaas, score!!!!!". Boomer will be sure to pay Butchie a visit after that one.

7th Round - Alex Annecchiarico, D, Vaughan Kings (6'1" 194 lbs)

In the matter of 3 games, will be called Alex Antichrist, Alex Anarchist, and Annette Funicello by Peter.

Supplemental Pick - Morten Smedegaard, LW/RW, Odense (6'7" 214 lbs)

Just what an aging deity like Frans Nielsen needs, a towering winger from his homeland who will carry forth Frans' will and smite his enemies with furious vengeance. You can not say his name without feeling the need to smash something into tiny bits. That isn't hair sticking out of his helmet, those are horns.

<em>Submitted FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog or SB Nation. If you're reading this statement, you pass the fine print legalese test. Four stars for you.</em>

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