Really? You don't think it's funny? - Bruce Bennett
The New York Rangers coach, known for his fire behind the bench, would love to also be recognized for his refined, urbane wit.
Although he's not originally from New York, Rangers coach John Tortorella has fully embraced the city and it him.
He has a reputation for being a highly intense and focused leader. His rigid team structure demands players give everything they have at all times. His humanitarian acts are as bold and emotional as the city itself.
But Tortorella also has a creative, artistic side that he expresses in the most Manhattan way a person can: by submitting jokes to The New Yorker's Cartoon Caption Contest.
The contest, established in 2005, calls for readers to submit funny captions for pre-drawn cartoons with winners getting printed in an upcoming issue. Roger Ebert is a frequent submitter in the contest, which sees upwards of 5,000 entries a week.
But Lighthouse Hockey's spies have tipped us off to the secret e-mail address - email@example.com - from which he has been submitting his gags to the magazine since 2009. Unfortunately for the coach, none of his entries have been selected for print by The New Yorker's editors.
Therefore, in the interest of learning more about how this fascinating hockey mind works, we present Tortorella's captions and the cartoons that inspired them. Perhaps, through them, we can get just a little closer to the man, his team, his city and his sense of humor.
This is a parody. I'm sure coach Tortorella has no time to read The New Yorker, let alone submit captions.