"Now Serving: No. 57." On RFQ Day, Nassau Coliseum resembles a 16,000-seat DMV. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)
Today is the due date for interested developers to submit their applications for Nassau County's recent Request for Qualifications (RFQ), the latest attempt to spur construction of a new Nassau Coliseum and surrounding area.
Monday also marks the 22nd consecutive off-season in which somebody filing papers with a County office takes precedence over someone signing a free agent contract with the Islanders.
To those that aren't real estate developers, construction magnates or mobsters, the RFQ process is a mysterious one. How a person or party presents their plan for revitalizing a large parcel of land is thought to be a complicated, intense and intrusive undertaking. Well, it isn't.
Lighthouse Hockey has obtained a copy of Nassau County's exclusive RFQ Application. It's only a few pages long, but its contents are very telling. It allows for developers with diverse credentials, interests and...comportments to submit their ideas to the County. It's also clear from the wording that Nassau is willing to take plans from any and all interested parties, regardless of their personal or perhaps criminal backgrounds.
Although our source deep within the County offices would not divulge where they obtained this copy, we have reason to believe this is actual submission from the Islanders' office since every space has been left blank. Accordingly, the team did not return calls for comment.
Pages 2, 3 and 4 of the application are presented after the jump. We excluded the first page because it contained enough legalese to sink a battleship.
This parody is based on an actual RFQ form I downloaded and which may have been designed by someone trying to make the most confusing, complex and needlessly complicated MS Word document template of all time. If that was the goal, congratulations, Mystery Person. You did it!