Nielsen, Jurcina Shut Down; NHL Power Rankings: Stupid Bruins*

An obscure Swiss physicist "Dr. Nino Streiterreiter" has published a paper suggesting the Islanders should build their roster to take advantage of the Coliseum's non-Euclidean geometry. Among other ideas, he argues this is the secret to maximizing the COZO effect and the Jurcina Anomaly.

Report: Newsday reports that both Frans Nielsen (concussion, Gaborik foul) and Milan Jurcina (Islanders hip) have been shut down for the season -- the prudent move with both. Comment on that or the power rankings that follow here. And if you're in a Bridgeport state of mind -- Rhett Rakhshani had a hat trick today -- head to Michael Fornabaio's weekly chat.

*Boston didn't really have much to do with this week's power rankings -- well, no more than a normal week. But each week Mike (LHH member ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles) sends me a short note along with the power ranking table he's tirelessly compiled. After the Bruins built a 3-0 lead at the Garden last night, only to blow it and let the Rangers come away with two clean points, Mike's note was simply: "Stupid Bruins."

A sentiment I'm sure many share (including, I'd imagine, Bruins fans themselves around 10 p.m. last night).

Oh, one more thought on that game before we get to the rankings and media polls:

 

Tim Thomas, whose doubters have always focused on his unorthodox play, certainly played poorly last night -- and on this occasion it really was his unorthodox/non-fundamental play that did the damage. Lots of overplaying and sliding out of position, to ill effect. I usually love watching him play, but last night was not one of those times.

Media Rankings Survey

Certain media members, through their nobility and qualifications, vote for things. Like awards and power rankings and proper behavior. Here is what they're saying...

Outlet Rank Last Week Their Commentary
CBSSports n/a* 25
[awaiting update]
Cbs. Dispatch
(Portzline)
24 22
Whew. That was getting weird for a while. The Islanders are back to the suck, having lost four out of five. [Ed. Stay classy, PHWA members and noble sports journalists.]
ESPN 27 25 Another 30-goal season for Matt Moulson. Well done.
Sportsnet (Brophy) 27 26 John Tavares, 20, inches closer to the 30-goal mark with his 28th in a loss to Carolina.
TSN
(Cullen)
25 25 New papa Michael Grabner has injected himself into the Calder Trophy discussion with 31 goals and a plus-15 rating, making him the only player in the league on a non-playoff team with 30 goals and a double-digit plus rating.
Average *25.75
23.6 "I believe in a cause, but I'm not willing to give up my parking space to support it."


Parody Rankings

...And here is what we know imagine they're saying, in their cold dark hearts:

Imagined Outlet Rank Last Week Their Imagined Commentary
Larry HOFer,
The Screaming ALL-CAPS Headline
1,000 90
Make no mistake and understand this, Wrist Shots has taken a stand.
Arty Popper
Central Ohio Picayune
40 38
Whew. That was getting weird for a while. The Islanders are back to the suck. And I am off the wagon.
Damian, Fanboy Nation
27 1 Because I believe sports is life and death, the results of this season will kill me. Literally. Enjoy the fruits of the rebuild, and think of me when I'm gone.
The Omen, Toronto Shameless & Record 28 28 The fact the Maple Leafs playoff push will fall short is down to one thing and one thing only: Garth Snow's classless decision not to deal the John Tavares pick to Toronto, where it belongs.

Now that we've got that bloviating out of the way, time for our own bloviation.

Real Power Rankings

Our weekly "real" power rankings, courtesy of our own ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles (who is the one you'll find tirelessly compiling FIG picks in the game thread), conceived and delivers these week after week. They reflect games through Sunday.

Explanation of how he does it is in the original post. If you have any questions about it, leave them in comments and he'll likely answer. For reference, last week's rankings (and Phoenix ramblings) are here.

The Islanders hang in above Florida and Ottawa, who seem to want to play but not decrease their lottery odds. Three games in four nights to close out the Islanders season will be an interesting final sprint -- especially without Frans Nielsen.

Elsewhere, Vancouver has run away with things in real life and in real power rankings, but color me impressed at how San Jose has come on after a mixed start to this season. The Rangers are there in 16th, which hopefully is an omen that, should they make the playoffs (stupid Boston), it will be a short ride.

    W L OTL Pts Played Pct Game PWR
1 Vancouver 52 18 9 113 79 0.715 0.3852 2124
2 San Jose 46 23 9 101 78 0.647 0.3631 2003
3 Washington 46 22 11 103 79 0.652 0.3563 1952
4 Philadelphia 46 22 11 103 79 0.652 0.3547 1950
5 Detroit 46 23 10 102 79 0.646 0.3516 1939
6 Boston 44 23 11 99 78 0.635 0.3472 1903
7 Tampa Bay 44 24 11 99 79 0.627 0.3441 1891
8 Pittsburgh 46 25 8 100 79 0.633 0.3434 1885
9 Los Angeles 45 27 6 96 78 0.615 0.3412 1878
10 Phoenix 42 25 12 96 79 0.608 0.3376 1859
11 Nashville 42 26 11 95 79 0.601 0.3349 1847
12 Chicago 42 28 8 92 78 0.590 0.3306 1822
13 Anaheim 44 30 5 93 79 0.589 0.3281 1807
14 Dallas 39 28 11 89 78 0.571 0.3178 1756
15 Montreal 42 30 7 91 79 0.576 0.3208 1755
16 NY Rangers 42 32 5 89 79 0.563 0.3140 1721
17 Buffalo 40 29 10 90 79 0.570 0.3107 1707
18 Calgary 40 29 11 91 80 0.569 0.3034 1678
19 St. Louis 36 33 10 82 79 0.519 0.2921 1612
20 Carolina 38 30 11 87 79 0.551 0.2915 1607
21 Toronto 37 32 10 84 79 0.532 0.2897 1591
22 Columbus 34 32 13 81 79 0.513 0.2855 1576
23 Minnesota 37 34 8 82 79 0.519 0.2858 1572
24 Atlanta 33 33 12 78 78 0.500 0.2774 1525
25 New Jersey 36 37 5 77 78 0.494 0.2722 1496
26 NY Islanders 30 37 12 72 79 0.456 0.2520 1385
27 Florida 29 38 12 70 79 0.443 0.2491 1369
28 Ottawa 30 39 10 70 79 0.443 0.2381 1312
29 Colorado 29 41 8 66 78 0.423 0.2344 1294
30 Edmonton 24 43 11 59 78 0.378 0.2060 1139
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