Islanders Comedy fanpost

I think it's time for something we can just have fun with because of everything we have dealt with recently and this year with the team as diehard isles fans. Just have fun with this. Make your own jokes that don't have to have a solid basis behind them, photoshop, throw up funny pictures, do funny fake dialogues, whatever. Just putting this out here for us to have some stress killing time. Don't take anything too seriously in this thread, it's all meant to be funny whether warranted or not towards the islanders organization as a whole. I'll try and start it with some good material:


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Garth: It's not my fault that we couldn't extend his podium crying canadien ass before the season ended. I tried but he just kept walking away like a psycho whispering repeatedly "there's no place like home, there's no place like home". Hell, I even saw sold red sparkly friggen ice skates in his locker! Even if 2 of the players we traded only turned out to be at best 3rd liners, who knows what that 1st rounder Alex Plante is going to turn into.

Wang: I'll tell you what that 1st rounder Alex Plante is going to turn into, A GOLIATH TOP 4 D-MAN THAT WE COULD HAVE USED! You milbury my ass one more time, and I'm going to take my size 6 gator skin dress shoe off and beat you with it!

Garth: I got you wishart though?

Wang: Yes, good job there. Who would of known that borrowing a 40yr old goaltender for half a season would get you your own alex plante, or should I say, GOLIATH TOP 4 D-MAN! Yzerman is gonna be a great gm, lol. You get his number on speed dial. We are getting hedman from him next year for bailey and a 1st or at least downie for gervais and a 4th rounder. You're alright mr.snow. How is the mr.fleury acquisition coming? A snow and fleury combination sounds like a no brainer tag team of success, don't you think so? Or at least a destroyer to the southern teams in the nhl.

Garth: Definitely, the #1 overall goalie that got away......

Wang: You don't let any more things get away you hear! Or I'm going to bring out the plow on your ass!

Garth: I told you, I am not literally snow.

Wang: Doesn't mean I won't spread you all over the sidewalk if I have to......Yakuza bitch. Are you telling me salt won't hurt you either?

Garth: Obviously salt will burn my eyes, and the cut I have after you threw that skate at me for passing on tyler myers and kulikov. I'm not perfect, no one is. At least I didn't sign

Wang: Just remember though. You won't like me when I'm angry and I am willing to go full out if you screw me over! Plows, salt, shovels, ice choppers, fire pits, flamethrowers, giant blow dryers, outdoor heaters, dragons, and more. If it's in your nightmare, it will become a reality! Got me holmes?

Garth: Yes boss.

Wang: That is not the right way to address me. Address me the way I told you to.

Garth: Really? Fine. Yes long wang from hong kong.

Wang: And you never forget who the long wang is! Now go my peasant.


-Doug Weight is so old that when he sees flintstones episodes he remembers about the good old days.

-Doug Weight is so old that he is the only living thing to have ever eaten primordial soup.

-Doug Weight is so old that he pimp slapped adam and eve after eating from the tree of knowledge.

-Doug Weight is so old that he thinks the moon is made of cheese.


Let's see what you guys got.

<em>Submitted FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog or SB Nation. If you're reading this statement, you pass the fine print legalese test. Four stars for you.</em>

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