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Around SBN: 2011 In Extreme Home Runs

Healthy New York hockey fans choose the Islanders

Four banners. Zero mouse excreta.

From our friends over at Copper & Blue comes this find at ESPN: A list of vendor inspection reports for North America's major sports venues. (Update: You may have seen this at Puck Daddy, too.)

If the official reports and ESPN's culling can be believed -- and who am I to ever tell you to doubt bureaucrats or ESPN? -- here is what was found at Madison Square Garden, home of those one-Oiler-fed-Cup-since-1940 Short Island Smurfs:

Vendors with critical violations: 61%

Inspection report excerpt: At one stand, inspectors found "53 mouse excreta" (38 on top of a metal box underneath the cash registers in the front food-prep/service area and 15 on top of a carbonated-beverage dispensing unit).

...and here is what was found at Nassau Coliseum, the glorious, perfectly flawless and totally not-needing-replacement-at-all-no-sir-now-please-mind-that-roof home of your four-Cups-since-1980 New York Islanders:

Vendors with critical violations: 0%

Inspection report excerpt: No critical or major violations.

For what it's worth, Newark's [washed up fashion brand] Center was dinged for "a seemingly spoiled and 'odorous can of cherry ice cream topping," while Buffalo's [Scottish finance of some sort] Arena had 8% of vendors with violations, the most notable being "two critical violations for having a toxic chemical in an unlabeled spray bottle."

Needless to say, in Islanders country all of our toxic chemicals are properly labeled, and our cans of cherry ice cream topping are rarely odorous in a spoiled sort of way. So remember, ye NY-area children still picking your favorite hockey side: A Vote for the Isles is a Vote Against Mouse Excreta! If you choose the Rangers, then the mice have already won.

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In Islander country the rats have already jumped ship so no excreta to find here.

by Hockey1919 on Jul 26, 2010 5:21 PM EDT reply actions  

Okay, I’ll admit this made me laugh.

Wheel of Location, Turn Turn Turn. Tell us the location that we will play.
Contributor to Lighthouse Hockey not sure if I'm the Sniper or the Enforcer.

by Mark D on Jul 26, 2010 6:23 PM EDT up reply actions  

The moral of the story

Is the Rangers are not the only excrement at Msg

by lostsin44 on Jul 26, 2010 6:13 PM EDT reply actions  

Somewhere

in the deepest, darkest cubby of MSG, Dick Cheney, the true owner of the Rangers, nods in agreement.

by IamJacksSplitSave on Jul 26, 2010 7:00 PM EDT via mobile reply actions   1 recs

Notwithstanding this. . . .

TSN and ESPN report that Frolov is about to sign with the Rangers.

by AP77 on Jul 26, 2010 7:07 PM EDT reply actions  

meh.

Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)

by TheMetalChick on Jul 26, 2010 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions  

I guess...

… I’ll have to change my disclaimer.

Warning: This post may cause Yashin Rashes, Spano Spasms, and Dingle Milburys.

by ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles on Jul 26, 2010 9:37 PM EDT reply actions  

Considering our concession stands average probably like 5 purchases an hour in recent years, they probably don’t keep enough food there to attract mice. :)

Claude LaPointe didn't make as good a pun, sadly.

by LaChance at Glory on Jul 26, 2010 11:13 PM EDT via mobile reply actions  

I know everyones joking around but the concessions are always jammed- thats why you can hardly walk through the concourse.

Bunch of NHL fans were already talking about this over on The Arena

What I had to say was simple:

How about THEM apples?
Arguably the worst arena in all of North American professional sports, but damnit, at least they keep it clean!
Seriously- it is so remarkable to read something POSITIVE about Nassau Coliseum I almost cant believe it lol. NVMC is old and relatively crappy, but at least you wont get diseases eating there.
What is the excuse for all these gorgeous fancy new new arenas to have rat droppings and roaches and poison and shit around the food? Ugh!
And on that note, I am never even ordering a soda at MSG ever again, let alone eating anything. EWWWW

And its true. I go to shows there but from now on Im sneaking water in with me. And if they find it and give me shit for it, Im gonna make a big deal about it telling them Im VERY allergic to mouse excreta. :P

Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)

by TheMetalChick on Jul 26, 2010 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions  

If you choose the Rangers, then the mice have already won.

I love it!

Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)

by TheMetalChick on Jul 26, 2010 11:42 PM EDT reply actions  

Like anything else, from the playing staff of an athletic team, to a crew of ditch diggers, it’s about the quality of the people working and the attention to detail of the ones managing them. When i go to Citi Field, sometimes I’m surprised that the Einsteins they have there can operate the register, and in the newer buildings there are so many concessions it seems like there aren’t enough managers to oversee all of it- it would probably break the salary structure if it did.. Ergo Citi Field. So perhaps the mausoleum benefits from the relative quality of the local workforce and the way it is reasonably obsolete in the way it’s concessions are set up. Also have to
remember that except for some concerts and the globetrotter and such, the building is a one trick pony wheras the newer spots have action much more often and a lot more potential for oversite.

Claude LaPointe didn't make as good a pun, sadly.

by LaChance at Glory on Jul 27, 2010 1:27 AM EDT via mobile reply actions  

Of course, it's also possible

that inspectors “forgot their was a pro sports team playing at NVMC” and never inspected it, hence the 0%. With the way the MSM covers the Islanders, that wouldn’t shock me…

2009 Did Not Happen

by cjmulrain on Jul 27, 2010 10:41 AM EDT reply actions  

It really cries out for that possibility, doesn’t it? I can see the inspectors making the rounds, visting NYC and hitting the Garden, then realizing where the Coliseum is: “Wait a minute…we gotta go out there? Screw it. Give ’em a pass.”

Lighthouse Hockey: Adapting forecasts to the disturbance known as Nino.

by Dominik on Jul 27, 2010 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

Who actually uses....

the word “excreta” in a sentence?

Oh, yeah,… the guv’mint.

by Nova Scotia Isles Fan on Jul 27, 2010 10:42 AM EDT reply actions  

the same people that use smegma?

welcome to MSG, where 2 out of 5 vendors are safe to eat from!

by bob l on Jul 27, 2010 10:49 AM EDT up reply actions  

Phish?

Did someone say Moulson was a fan?

Smegma, dogmatagram, fish market stew
Police in a corner, gunnin’ for you
Appletoast, bedheated, furblanket rat
Laugh when they shoot you, say
“Please don’t do that!”

Control for smilers can’t be bought
The solar garlic starts to rot
Was it for this my life I sought?
Maybe so and maybe not

~Stash

Lighthouse Hockey: Adapting forecasts to the disturbance known as Nino.

by Dominik on Jul 27, 2010 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions  

Happy to know the sprinkles on the cupcakes this year wont be moving

by Danny332 on Jul 27, 2010 5:06 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

:rimshot:

Lighthouse Hockey: Adapting forecasts to the disturbance known as Nino.

by Dominik on Jul 27, 2010 5:43 PM EDT up reply actions  

It's official

The Rangers are government-inspected flea-ridden rodents.

Maybe they signed Boogaard to hunt and eat the mice?

My latest contract is for 31 years.

by mikb on Jul 28, 2010 12:26 PM EDT reply actions  

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Josh Bailey 12 LW 10/2/1989 190 6-1
Rick DiPietro 39 G 9/19/1981 190 6-1
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Michael Grabner 40 RW 10/5/1987 185 6-0
Travis Hamonic 3 D 8/16/1990 203 6-2
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Andrew MacDonald 47 D 9/7/1986 196 6-1
Matt Martin 17 LW 3/8/1989 210 6-3
Al Montoya 35 G 2/13/1985 203 6-2
Mike Mottau 10 D 3/19/1978 190 6-0
Matt Moulson 26 LW 11/1/1983 205 6-1
Evgeni Nabokov 20 G 7/25/1975 200 6-0
Aaron Ness 55 D 5/18/1990 170 5-10
Nino Niederreiter 25 RW 9/8/1992 205 6-2
Frans Nielsen 51 C 4/24/1984 184 6-0
Kyle Okposo 21 RW 4/16/1988 205 6-0
Jay Pandolfo 29 LW 12/27/1974 190 6-1
P.A. Parenteau 15 LW 3/24/1983 193 6-0
Rhett Rakhshani 49 RW 3/6/1988 190 5-10
Marty Reasoner 16 C 2/26/1977 205 6-1
Dylan Reese 42 D 8/29/1984 201 6-1
Brian Rolston 11 LW 2/21/1973 215 6-2
Steve Staios 24 D 7/28/1973 200 6-1
Mark Streit 2 D 12/11/1977 197 6-0
John Tavares 91 C 9/20/1990 202 6-0
Tim Wallace 36 RW 8/6/1984 207 6-1
Calvin de Haan 44 D 5/9/1991 187 6-1

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