Islanders Gameday: NHL Must Act to Save Sinking Devils
With the Board of Governors convening earlier this month in Florida, it is time for Gary Bettman to declare the Devils are in a State of Emergency and the NHL will simply not allow the current ownership to maintain the franchise as currently steered toward the hell their nickname has long implied.
Last winter Jeff Vanderbeek got his Ilya Kovalchuk. That does not give him the right to compound his starstruck short-term purchase by signing the one-way Russian forward to a lifetime, cap-crippling deal -- and then worse, when the NHL gave him a chance at a do-over this summer, commit an even bigger cap hit over the next 15 years to a dangerous sniper whose precious prime-age seasons are, this year at least, being wasted on a disaster in Newark that is haunted by success last seen in 2003.
The product on the ice is shockingly inferior, through little fault of the players on a roster that has been decimated by injuries to a good forward in Zach Parise, a good defenseman in Anton Volchenkov, a good goalie in Martin Brodeur, and a cap management trainwreck by Lou Lamoriello that entailed dressing an incomplete lineup for the season's opening games, leaving his new long-groomed coach John MacLean to start his tenure off behind the 8-ball, until the dead man walking was given his walking papers today, just two days before Christmas, replaced by ... the guy he replaced 8 months ago -- the guy with whom the captain did not see eye-to-eye. Right. The minor-league lineup Devils fans have seen this season accounts for, including injuries, an unfathomable $65.8 million in payroll, some $6 million over the cap with only timely injuries to put off serious roster decisions.
There is Broadway, there is off Broadway, there is Long Island, and then there is Newark, where the owner -- once perceived as a benefactor (as was the late, canonized man who almost moved the Devils to Nashville) -- was so determined to mortgage the Devils' future on the one-dimensional Kovalchuk that he did it not once, not twice, but three times in 2010.
It is impossible to determine what the endgame is here for Vanderbeek -- who allegedly tried to sell the team last summer, according to one rather odd report -- other than to create a marketing buzz for his chronically under-marketed team and hope that from 2013 to 2020, a $6.6 million cap hit for a 30 to 37-year-old speed-dependent forward doesn't sound as foolish as it sounds in 2010. After that, presumably, the hope is that the forward with the heavy salary and by-then-diminishing skills just retires already, rather than subject his adopted team to that cost all the way to 2024-25.
Perhaps the idea was to give legendary and much-debated goalie Martin Brodeur one last kick at the can before he escapes this mess, but if so it was a curious move to sacrifice the franchise's 13 or so post-Brodeur years to do it.
And then of course there is the small matter of it not working, not at all, as witnessed by this season, which has gone down the toilet faster than you can say, "Is $20.25 million on an over-35 contract for Brian Rolston really the way to go?"
Bottling All Anti-League Grievances in One Tidy Paragraph
The league props up Phoenix, it'll prop up Dallas and the league will stand behind franchises in Sunrise, Fla.; Tampa and Atlanta, but in this case the league seems to stand behind the Devils only when it comes to letting your entire league-wide product descend into a boring, rules-ignorant, zero-sum game of clutching and grabbing to lay waste to an entire decade of NHL hockey (R.I.P. '90s, you are not missed) -- only to be rectified after a year-long lockout that gave people time to ponder just how boring were those three obstruction-aided Cups for the Devils. Memo to Bettman: Three Stanley Cups -- why, even four, as Isles fans know all too well -- does not a permanently healthy franchise make.
Appeal to 'Atmosphere'
What kind of atmosphere is this for Ilya Kovalchuk -- once the 26-year-old center of trade deadline attention across all of Canada who is hiding in plain sight in Newark -- to ride out his "put me on an existing winner so I can call myself a winner" years? What is young Zach Parise to think of things, with his free agency looming and his knowledge that making as much as his highest-paid teammate on his next contract will only doom both to further cap-mismanagement-induced hell?
How can the many interchangeable parts of whom the organization always seems so very proud of -- maybe products of the Lemaire-inspired system, maybe not -- possibly flourish in an environment that has, "We'd like to dress a full 18 skaters, but we kind of screwed the pooch with the cap this summer, so hopefully someone gets a concussion or something and spares us a decision" written on the tenement halls through which the players pass on the days they are allowed to dress?
The league is believed to have have bowed to its rich owners at every turn, so it is not as if Bettman can somehow turn to that same group and ask them to install some sanity into one of their own. However, if the most respected and objective, hyperbole-free pundit in all of hockey -- and make no mistake, it is so very not personal with him or Bettman -- can argue that the league must intervene to save the Islanders, surely the same should be said for tonight's opponent, the team who sits tied with the Isles in the standings (though with considerably more money spent to get there).
Surely Bettman can at minimum plead that Vanderbeek never, ever, ever, cross-his-heart-and-hope-to-sign-Malakhov be allowed to make such a short-sighted, long-handicapping move as this ever again. Put it another way: The Devils will have Ilya on the books for 10 years after Alexei Yashin's buyout is done. He will be a Devil for four years beyond the end of Rick DiPietro's contract.
Far be it for this humble observer to suggest that money does not, in fact, automatically buy happiness nor a good hockey team. But evidence indicates that whatever you hope it buys you, such cannot be acquired if reason is neglected, if the long-term is sacrificed for the very near-term, and if -- get this -- the unpredictable variable of injuries and health are capable of making your product look much worse than advertised.
Note: Credit WebBard for the idea for this satire, and Larry Brooks for the inspiration. If parody isn't your cup of tea, you're probably in the wrong corner of the Internet.
Past the Satire: The Actual Gameday Preview
New York Islanders (7-18-6, last) @ New Jersey Devils (9-22-2, also last)
7 p.m. | [finances of some sort] Center | MSG+/+2, NHL audio - WRHU 88.7
Kicking MacLean, Welcoming(?) Back Lemaire: In Lou We Trust
The Islanders reported that Nathan Lawson was on the ice for today's "extremely optional" skate, which may mean that Dwayne Roloson goes back to back. [Update: Capuano confirms. Roloson in.]
For both teams, the triage lists is long. Devils: Zach Parise (knee) and Jacob Josefson (hand) and defensemen Bryce Salvador (concussion) and Matt Taormina (ankle) on injured reserve. … Islanders: Add Radek Martinek (wrist, day-to-day) to the existing list of Rick DiPietro, Mark Streit (shoulder), Kyle Okposo (shoulder), Doug Weight (back) and Trent Hunter (knee).
In the only previous meeting, DiPietro got the shutout in a 2-0 win on Coliseum ice -- the game that finally ended that 14-game winless streak.
As goes with coaching changes -- particularly ones where a former coach who "retired" under curious circumstances less than a year ago returns -- it's hard to guess what kind of form the Devils will display tonight. Also hard to guess how the Islanders will respond after playing last night, getting the OT win, and maybe-just-maybe starting to feel good about themselves.
Links
- Staple with a little update on Mike Mottau's discovery of his hip injury
- And more with Capuano on Bailey
- And don't forget, Charles Wang and Garth Snow on "NHL Hour" tonight (XM) between 6 and 7 p.m. Those who get to listen will surely update the rest of you on anything of substance that crosses the air.
FIGs
As per usual, you can leave your First Islanders Goal pick here or in the game thread -- before puck drops. You know the rule though: Leave it in a reply to the first FIG comment, or it may be overlooked and you will be publicly shamed and forced to watch the league's two worst teams battle for 29th place.
Let's. Make it. *Four!
*You know, like four games with a standings point. In a row. That's the goal for tonight, is what I mean.
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Comments
LMAO- Best title ever!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
FIG: Moulson 17:02
Moulson has every intention of leading the team in goals again. He doesn’t like when JT gets too close.
The whole Lemaire thing is just absurd. At this point, I would think anyone that follows hockey would have to think Garth Snow is a better GM (currently) then Lou. I think Lou may have gone mad a couple of years ago. I bet he talks to his slippers a lot now.
That's a VERY useful rivalry, MMo & JT.....
…..comparable to the Beach Boys and Beatles, and if they turn out as phenomenal as Pet Sounds and Sgt. Pepper’s, we’ll be doing OK! LOL
don't think so..
look, Garth Snow will never be what Lou Lamoriello is as a GM. I follow hockey pretty intensely and IMHO, I would feel a lot more comfortable if Lamoriello was at the helm of the Islanders than Garth. Look at the abysmal off-ice changes the Islanders have made this year…you don’t think Garth was behind that? The Devils organization has been the model of consistency before the kovalchuk deal……the isles have not.
your final score
Satire 1, jrams 0.
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
heheheh
You take a joke with good humor, you get a point out of it!
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
Agree Lou's resume is massive, but...
Hardly unblemished. It goes back before Kovalchuk (Rolston?). In ten words or less, Lou has not responded to the cap well. At all.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
Gotta take The Beaver's side on this one Ward
IMO Garth has a better understanding of the CBA and its future implications than most of the “great minds” in the game today. In Garth we trust. (if he would only stop letting good people leave/show the door of, the organisation)
Nearly enough defensemen to last through the injury bug
FIG JT at 5:00 in 1st
Any task BIG or small, Do it well or not at all
by Rickfansince76 on Dec 23, 2010 2:04 PM EST up reply actions
FIG Pap
the guys been scoring and Ive overlooked him all season…hes got my attention and im sure that what he’s been looking for, all season, my approval…lol
FIG
RSH 21:12
See what I did there? We are the Priests, of the Temples of Syrinx!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Dec 23, 2010 5:43 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
/air guitars wildly, headbangs, breaks snack table tray, doesn’t care
"I think we got the better Lindros." - Fulla Maloney; "If I'm wrong about Kvasha, then off with my head" - Voldemort; {{lifts hand; several pencils, keyboards, and cell phones shatter}} - Darth Wang
by Bryan2112 on Dec 23, 2010 6:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
niccccce
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Dec 23, 2010 6:30 PM EST up reply actions
\m/ ^_^ \m/
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
MartyInd's FIG: Tavares (2 in a row) will get his first of three at 8:11
(Reposted from the WebBard FanShot on MacLean getting axed.)
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
(Stupid me -- Ozzy already covered this one below)
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
The caption is sheer GENIUS, Dom.....
…..but I’m worried that this on-going drama at the Rock will hijack Wang and Snow’s call-in tonight, ESPECIALLY with them playing each other – still, if it does elicit a more forthcoming response from Bettman about what league-based resources may be available to bolster the Islanders as well, then it might be of some benefit all the same…..BTW, yearbooks came out last night and I just nabbed mine from the Broadway store for $10 plus $6 S & H via FedEx:)
I just really tried to capture the spirit of the thing…
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
Him or Hillen?
I bet Bruno would still have to play with a cage at this point.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
I'd guess Hillen.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
PreGame FIG Thread
A Festivus Miracle. Gillies at 14:14
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
Now I'm torn
Les Beaver has a FIG (Moulson 17:02), but it’s up there in reply to his own comment. Yours is the first FIG-dedicated comment. Can I get a ruling? Should I just leave mine here and see where momentum rides.
Oh rules, rules, they are the bane of anarchy.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
I like what Web did yesterday
Big blue blockquote indicating “fig goes here”…anyone outside of that can be punished by not being recognized…we can’t continue to have JP washing his hands like this…he will bleed eventually.
"Gervais...he looks danger in the fist with his face!" JPinVA
You put beaver's in here, so we are all good.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Sorry for the confusion. I did not see the beaver’s FIG comment.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 2:20 PM EST up reply actions
FIG Nielsen 8:10
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
???? Explain, while I go search.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
He just means he already posted his once, is posting it again here
(I think.)
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
K. I was confused because it was a reply to me.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Sorry - didn't MEAN to cause such distress! LOL
….was just concerned that this was becoming the official (pre?) game thread and didn’t want to be left out of the fun…..ESPECIALLY it being my first-ever FIG
That's cool. I was just a little confused.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Grabner @ 13:40
Because if Grabner pans out, that would like really help, like a lot, man.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
MartyInd JT 8:11
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
MLong86 Moulson 5:23
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
FIG
I’mma let you finish, but first? Hamonic’s first – 9:19.
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
Mikb Hamonic 9:19
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Ogam5 Bailey 5:48
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Thanks
for making all the FIGs line up all pretty and such… but… /washes hands
…once you see it… YOU CAN’T UNSEE IT!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
AMac @ 7:47
I’m sticking with our new idol until one bounces in.
You mean to tell me shooting the puck from 70 feet out doesn't earn us extra goals?
Grabner, 14:40
He’s crashing the net well lately, he’s going to eat a rebound up soon.
Lighthouse Hockey: Compete Level quota for the year exhausted in October?
(MTBVibe: Now a twit!)
FIG
George Josh Bailey ~12:00…. S(econd)IG Bailey ~18:00…. F(ifth)IG ~47:00…
Josh spent two weeks having the time of his life… then a series of awful things happen… which cause him to be so depressed he must ponder what the Islanders would look like if he’d never been drafted…
Then his guardian angel, Jack allows him to see what it is like as he sends him to BRIDGE (I’m surprised nobody else caught this)PORT… After a few weeks there he sees how the Islanders really need him…
The team rallies around his return… …and after the third goal for Josh tonight the crowd sings Auld Lang Syne, and while being interviewed by Deb as the first star she hiccups which causes the little bell on her santa hat to jingle…“Hey Joshy, an angel just got his wings…”
… and nobody cares about the signed paperwork that Kate Murray hid in her desk to block the building of the LHP…or that they fired Uncle Billy for not being mindful of Charles’ ways… even the Blog Examiner chips in some good cheer…because…
It’s a WONDERFUL LIFE!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
by JPinVA on Dec 23, 2010 2:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Rickfansince76 JT 5:00
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Hide your wives, hide your kids...
Quinn has acquired the sarcasm font!
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
They be rapin' everybody
up in here! You did see that youtube clip right…otherwise “rapin’” jokes are really not funny…
"Gervais...he looks danger in the fist with his face!" JPinVA
I have a feeling we are either going to shutout the devils and/or beat them by a wide margin. Let's see what happens.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
I have a feeling whatever happens will be immediately seen as the team's response to Lemaire
Devils win: “Genius!”
Devils lose: “See! They HATE him!”
Seriously, though, whatever adjustments they make should be interesting, though I don’t know how many they can make today.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
Lemaire will really shake things up, he paces the bench from left to right as opposed to right to left like MacLean did. The players got the perception that MaClean was heading in the wrong direction. That and Lemaire blows bubbles, so that will loosen up the atmosphere.
by Hockey1919 on Dec 23, 2010 1:44 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
PS
Just to clarify Lemaire blows bubble gum, not Michael Jackson’s Monkey.
by Hockey1919 on Dec 23, 2010 1:45 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
The other difference...
is when Lemaire blows bubbles, there’s no BLOWBACK /rimshot
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
Wizniewski should protest
See? All I was doing was tellin’ Avery about the Devils’ new coach! It was perfectly innocent!
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
Beatuiful.
Rec’d like MacLean’s coaching resume.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
I applaud you, good sir.
Also, Lemaire has hair, does he not? VERY different.
Lighthouse Hockey: Compete Level quota for the year exhausted in October?
(MTBVibe: Now a twit!)
I believe they do.
After all, hair/a comb-overs would both be something covering his head other than the cloud of shame…
Lighthouse Hockey: On the IR with swollen knees from praying for the injuries to stop.
big difference between..
“come overs” and “comb overs” and “Comeau vers”
Come over: After a few drinks a young man might ask a young woman, “hey would you like to come over to see the devil’s get waxed by the Islanders… I got FUDGE”
Comb over: The poor attempt by a middle aged man to hide the accomplishments of time and wax based shampoos.
Comeau vers: When a left wing leaves a drop pass to a trailing opponent, then goes nowhere as he skates the puck back up ice.
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
Breakin' it down...
Come over: After a few drinks a young man might ask a young woman, "hey would you like to come over to see the devil’s get waxed by the Islanders… I got FUDGE"
That is also classified as a “come on”…
Comb over: The poor attempt by a middle aged man to hide the accomplishments of time and wax based shampoos.
That’s, I believe, a “oh, come on!”…
Comeau vers: When a left wing leaves a drop pass to a trailing opponent, then goes nowhere as he skates the puck back up ice.
I’ll let Gob Bluth handle this one…
Lighthouse Hockey: On the IR with swollen knees from praying for the injuries to stop.
Damn Typos
It all started with Comeau-over (this being an Islander and not Devil thread after all). Then I meant Comb-over but I got distracted by thinking about Lemaire in a compromising position with a monkey and having this tail across his face making for some crazy eye brows. I wound up with Come-over, which is more appropriate in terms of Football coaches than hockey coaches and probably where the subconscious seed was planted. Unfortunately the “e” and “b” keys are nowhere near each other so it just must be the way my middle-aged addled mind works.
rec'd like the Devil's budget
The pain’s insane, and falls mainly on McLean,
While the heir, Lemaire, deals with all devilish dispair,
But Lou, who too created this newark zoo,
Will find, in time, he’s way too behind!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
by JPinVA on Dec 23, 2010 2:19 PM EST up reply actions 5 recs
JP, you're on fire lately.
This one gets the +1.
Lighthouse Hockey: On the IR with swollen knees from praying for the injuries to stop.
why thank you sir...
I mean, it’s clean and hopefully someday green!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
Don King approves of this lingo
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
The Isles are winnin'
and theyre now chillin’
while the Devils are illin’
2 teams battlin’
for the worst in the division
K, i tried, meh
Clyde would
kick you in the sack
and not look back,
to cover his tracks,
and that’s a fact…JACK!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
and Kovy got a monster CONTRACT!
The league said they didnt want that
Yeah, Bettman don't play that

You mean to tell me shooting the puck from 70 feet out doesn't earn us extra goals?
Love the Brooks Syntax
“Make no mistake” LOL! Not only is Larry Brooks a lousy reporter with little to no access to accurate inside information, his writing is extraordinarily bad. “You should know” “Make no mistake” Incessant “Throat clearing” in print. Every time I read his column I want to use a red pen to edit the truly stilted writing. How he has managed to survive this many years as, per the fawning Botta, “New York’s most respected hockey writer” is beyond belief.
When are these media people who are always slamming the Islanders going to take on the patheitc joke that is the Devils?
And when does Bud Light do a commercial with Lou and Lemaire, “you’re fired” , “you’re hired”
by rmblifn on Dec 23, 2010 1:46 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
funny you mention that
Because Botta dropped a “Let’s get one thing straight” in his Fanhouse column about the salary cap.
Even better, half his column made not a lick of sense.
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
Botta has become the biggest joke since he went completely a-wall from losing his credentials.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Does Botta call in to XM ...
and will Snow screen his call?
heheheheh
Host: All right. Now we have a question via twitter from… uhm…. Bistopher Crotta?
Snow: PASS.
known far and wide for stat-fu and irking people
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
"isn’t it amazingly simple to use the link pop-up?" - JPinVA
by mikb on Dec 23, 2010 2:00 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
What about Jaffe?
Isn’t he co-host an XM show? I’m sure he could slip a question in.
You mean to tell me shooting the puck from 70 feet out doesn't earn us extra goals?
Drunk Botta calls into XM
And now we have a call from Rockville Centre… hello caller.
CB: Hey guys, how you doin’ today?
Garrth: We’re good, do you have a question?
CB: Yeah [hiccup], i’ve been a ….long pause…. fan for a lo[hiccup]ng time and I just want to know if you [buuuuuuuurp!] are going to spend any money on the free agent market this year?
GS: Well sure caller. We’ve spent money every year on new free agents. We’ve had some problems attracting the higher end free agents because, most likely, a guy in the prime of his career doesn’t want to restart with a rebuilding team. But we’ve made quality signings every year… Streit, Roloson, Wisniewski (sign/trade deal) and even Mark Eaton… and Mike Mottau… so yeah… we will explore our options this off-season.
CB: What about [starting to sob a little] Kirill Petrov… are you just going to leave him to rot in that Russian prison?
CW: Chris, is that you?
GS: Is that f***in Botta…
CB: no… no … my name is…. uuuuu… glass…. Ryan Glass… and… [hiccup] … I’m a real fan… i don’t work for AOL… or SNY… tell me about the Lighthouse Project…. are you going to go forward with it… tell me… my READERS WANT TO KNOW…. THEY WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE IN FRONT OF TOWN COMMITTEES AND….[SILENCE]
HOST : We’re gonna take a short break and come right back with Gary Bettman who will tell us for the 272nd time why hockey will work in the Phoenix desert.
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
by JPinVA on Dec 23, 2010 3:18 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
If half made not a lick of sense, then the other half inherently shall not as well.
Or, for more fun, we can get in there with some deconstructionist critical analysis. Oooh, oooh, that’ll be fun! Who doesn’t love Derrida? /grin
Lighthouse Hockey: Compete Level quota for the year exhausted in October?
(MTBVibe: Now a twit!)
Jurcina
we need to keep him healthy, we are 6-4-3 with him in the lineup
Any task BIG or small, Do it well or not at all
If parody isn’t your cup of tea, you’re probably in the wrong corner of the Internet.
Crap, the internet has CORNERS?!?! Why didn’t anyone tell me this?
Lighthouse Hockey: Compete Level quota for the year exhausted in October?
(MTBVibe: Now a twit!)
And dasher boards and a high slot, too
Technically, this is probably the Zamboni entrance: Funny caroms, lots of slush scraped off the ice from last period, dirty tire tracks…
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
Funny caroms indeed!
…
Oh, and sometimes the puck bounces oddly too.
Lighthouse Hockey: Compete Level quota for the year exhausted in October?
(MTBVibe: Now a twit!)
by MTBVibe on Dec 23, 2010 2:13 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Interesting Read
If you haven’t checked out Justin Bourne’s article from Puck Daddy today, its worth the five minute read. Especially since its about how to cope with being an Islanders fan, including Clark Gillies apologizing in advance for taking Bourne to last night’s game.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
He has some great lines in there.
The one about the personnel grouping he’d want to see is priceless…and the line about coping mechanisms is even better.
Lighthouse Hockey: On the IR with swollen knees from praying for the injuries to stop.
He’s the only reason I even continue to visit Puck Daddy anymore. Wysh has lost total control over Leahy and Lambert, who both manage to piss off just about everyone. I used to be an avid reader of Wysh back when he was at Deadspin doing the NHL Closer but since he’s brought on those two, the whole tone of not only the site but his writing has changed dramatically.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 2:41 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah, I’m with you on the Leahy/Lambert issue…occasionally they manage to stay on the correct side of the line, but that’s far too infrequent. I mostly skim PD these days outside of Bourne’s entries, looking for links worth reading.
Lighthouse Hockey: On the IR with swollen knees from praying for the injuries to stop.
Misery entertains company
I have to agree with the comment about Oilers fans, too: The straits they’ve been in has led to some seriously entertaining writing and joking the last several years. (I’m only sorry I can’t compete in that department.)
I don’t know where we’re going, but I enjoy this far more than I did life under Milbury. Back then, people couldn’t bring up the Isles without me cursing up a storm while grudgingly hoping for an 8th-seed miracle series win. Right now I get the best of two of the worlds: Self-deprecation along with signs of hope, some exciting young players to watch grow or falter.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
HA! The first time I read that last sentence I thought it said “to watch grow or fatter.” instead of falter.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 3:18 PM EST up reply actions
I just don’t think it will happen since Kyle Wellwood isn’t in the organization.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 3:36 PM EST up reply actions
Let's get one thing straight...
there’s a new sheriff in town… and he accepts czechs!
Nice work Dom!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
Oh Man
I am so happy you did this instead of me, it wouldn’t nearly have been as funny.
And then the Comments on this post are classic already, I’ve been laughing for the last 5 minutes straight.
"My lasting image of Lemieux interacting with an Islanders defenseman is of Mario getting knocked on his ass by Darius Kasparaitis in 1993." - rmblifn #VolekStatue
Contributor to Lighthouse Hockey not sure if I'm the Sniper or the Enforcer.
Its hard to believe the Isles aren't the worst team in the league
we cant even be the worst if we tried…lol
This is gonna make it harder to get the #1 overall pick if we keep playing so darn well, lol
Lose with a little more pride please
Leave it to the Islanders to scew up being the worst. When Toronto puts their mind to it they’re clearly worse than we are and have so much more at their disposal. Now the Devils are a top notch orgnaization and are really showing us how to really field a real loser. We look like amatuers with our low payroll ,crappy building, backup goaltender GM and stockpile of draft picks. Don’t we have any pride? These guys cap max, have shiny new buildings, experienced grand master GMs and deal away or get penalized out of their first round picks. That is epic failure, we fail in such modest ways.
by Hockey1919 on Dec 23, 2010 3:41 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Algebra... this is no place for you!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
I wash my hands of this whole figgin' mess!
Lighthouse Hockey: "where everybody knows your screen name" -mikb
I watch hockey because I love the game, I watch the Islanders because I hate myself.
Parise?
Normally I’m not the type to dream big on pending free agents, but I can’t help myself here, because I don’t think it’s that far-fetched…could the Islanders make a very serious run at Parise at the end of the year? One would have assumed that the Devils would have locked him up long ago, but they’ve ruined their budget with the Kovy deal, the Islanders have the space to give Parise a nice sized contract, and there’s always the “my dad played here” factor.
If Snow can convince him that the Islanders are in fact, on the upswing by year’s end, and that he (Parise) is that missing star that they’re missing to turn them into a contender, I could actually see it happening.
And if it’s not being talked about….let’s get a rumor started that we are looking to sign him. Maybe if it’s said enough times it will become true. Like in that Family Guy episode where they start the rumor about Rob Schneider.
whoops
Threw in an extra “missing” in that second paragraph. I’m so ashamed.
It would be nice to get him
but hes been hurt lately which isn’t a good sign
In truth, I think the Devils can maneuver to sign him without too much trouble (it’s the rest of their depth they’ll have to worry about) — and maybe a coaching change and his own return to the lineup will have them on the upswing by season’s end. At the end of the year, will the Isles look any more promising than the Devils? I don’t know, the Isles have an image problem and 2015 hanging over them.
But it would be cool. And I’m all for both dreaming and igniting self-serving rumors.
Lighthouse Hockey: And you shall know us by the fraying of our hips.
And why stop there with the rumors?
Let’s start one about Danny Briere standing in front of a mirror before every game repeating to himself “I’m not a repeat offender, I’m a good boy. I’m not a repeat offender, I’m a good boy.”
by rosey7 on Dec 23, 2010 3:59 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I've been trying to say the same thing to people about Parise
Both here and the delusional Wild fans that think that he will be their Native Minnesotan Savior© (Formerly Mark Parrish, currently Matt Cullen). Between Langenbrunner and Arnott’s (Who considering both their production this year won’t be too hard to replace) expiring contracts clear over 8 Mil in cap space and the fact Parise’s cap hit is right now about 4 mil, Lou will have plenty of cap space to resign Parise.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 4:55 PM EST up reply actions
Resign parise and lose 2 of their top 6 forwards,
+ salvador is definitely gone, and they have to open cap space to resign greene. And they would have less then $1mil to replace 2 top 6 forwards through free agency or dump more salary somehow.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
Seriously, Greene, Langenbrunner and Arnott are not that hard to replace through the system or free agency. And do you really think Lou will prioritize those three spots over Parise?
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 6:08 PM EST up reply actions
If you honestly think they can find 2 20goal/60pt top 6 forwards and 1 5goal/35pt d-man through their system or free agency AND all signed for ~$4mil TOTAL to replace those 3 guys then fine. But realistically they weaken their whole team buy shelling out
$7mil+/yr to parise at the cost of not being able to sign or keep important players for their team. That’s the facts. Because they have created so many contract dilemmas in their system. And Salvador is waived/gone, and they need to waive/trade high salary players to free more cap space, and the only eligible targets for that are tallinder and zubrus(due to ntc’s and nmc’s) and both of them are overpaid and older. It’s just a giant crap filled dilemma lou is going to have to solve miraculously by next year or deal with the consequences.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
This isn’t 5 years ago, hell this isn’t even last year. Langenbrunner and Arnott are no longer 20 goal, 60 point players. Replacing them won’t be that hard.
So Parise is a 7 mil hit, that’s a 3 mil cap hit raise from his current one. that still leaves about 5 mil for Lou to work with that will be clear (Not even counting Hedberg 1.5 Mil hit that’s coming off the books so in reality its closer to 6 mil with Frazee’s half mil cap hit on the books in his place). Add in Rolston’s buyout, that’s another 2.5 mil to work with. I’m sure Lou can figure something out for those three spots with ~8.5 mil available.
It was worth posting my drivel to get that link… That was the Shizzle my HansunFrizzle! - JPinVA
After being fired as head coach, now a "Special Adviser" to Lighthouse Hockey
by David Hanssen on Dec 23, 2010 6:47 PM EST up reply actions
Parise's cap hit raises to 7, that's a 4mil raise(not 3). And that magical $7mil is if ZP signs a long deal with a NJ discount. We all know Parise could earn $8mil+/yr easily on the open market for a 5yr deal if he wanted.
How does buying out a 35+ contract work? If the devils can do that with rolston, that would help a lot with another $2.5mil of salary to use, and that bottom 6 spot should be able to filled pretty cheaply. That would solve most of the problems if they could do that. We should disregard hedberg coming off the books, because I could easily see them replacing their backup with another $1mil-$2mil goaltender given brodeur’s age and how he has been playing so far this year. Frasee has looked like crap this and last year in the a, so if the devils are gonna take that risk I’d laugh and that would be the stupidest cost they’ve ever cut.
On langy and arnott.
Arnott’s stats for the last 3yrs:
07/08-79gms-28goals-72pts
08/09-65gms-33goals-57pts
09/10-63gms-19goals-46pts (80gm equivalent of 24.73goals-59.87pts)
So yes, I firmly stand by the fact that Arnott is still a 20goal/60pts center.
Langy’s stats for the last 2/3yrs:
07/08-64gms-13goals-41pts
08/09-81gms-29goals-69pts
09/10-81gms-19goals-61pts
A tad worse then I thought. I’d still consider langy a 16goal/50-55pts forward, which still isn’t a breeze to fill-in.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
NO to Parise - The Cost is Too Much
The last thing I’d do is give the Devils a bunch of good young prospects or 1st round picks for one player, no matter how good he is. It never works out. We’d be sitting here watching our prospects play for the Devils or watch the Devils use 1st rounder after 1st rounder that belonged to us. Why help those losers rebuild in our own market? Screw ’em. Parise may be good, but no one player is ever good enough to pay the RFA offer sheet price.
Yeah, he arguably would cost too much, but if we can't attract premium free agents what else can we really do?
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
All the more reason
Why he might fall into our laps. I’m seeing this as a “perfect storm” type of situation. Great player, tough season, other teams skeptical, his own team can’t sign him, we swoop in and grab him.
Anyone have an online feed of the bettman and wang/snow satellite radio thing starting in 5mins?
I REAALLY WANNA HEAR IT. Thanks.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
k thanks. I tried the nhl.com site but the feed doesn't work.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
I have sirius and there is no channal 208
There is no NHL hr on the dial and I don’t see it on the FIOS programing either…WTF?
by KO21 on Dec 23, 2010 6:10 PM EST via mobile reply actions
I guess it's an ordered package, I was pissed when I saw it wasn't on my satellite radio either.
John Tavares=The Franchise, The Future, and still only 20yrs old, SO GIVE HIM SOME F**KING TIME TO MATURE CRITICS! Not everyone is Wayne Gretzky(although Tavares did break some of his records....tee hee)
NHL is on the “Best of XM” package
"My lasting image of Lemieux interacting with an Islanders defenseman is of Mario getting knocked on his ass by Darius Kasparaitis in 1993." - rmblifn #VolekStatue
Contributor to Lighthouse Hockey not sure if I'm the Sniper or the Enforcer.

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