I know you told me not to be naughty this year, but I’m afraid I just “can’t be effective” unless I’m making an ass out of myself. And just so we’re clear, you know Christmas is all about me, right? Everything else is.

—Sean Avery

P.S. I didn’t mean what I said about not letting you into any NYC bars last time you celebrated Christmas too much. Actually…psyche! Yes I did! See what I did there? Snap.

Same wish as last year: Need more hyperbole, as I’ve burned through my supplies this year.

—Larry Brooks

Just so there is no confusion, that bearely legible word is credentials, not credibility. I’ve been being good lately and have apologized for being bad here: http://www.islanderspointblank.com/2010/12/notebook-nyi-lose-in-so-lti-correction-winter-classic-merch-at-pb-party-note-on-content/

So I am trying! Write back, I’d like to talk it over!

In case Santa does not respond to my letter:

    Santa lets down millions! The problem is his lead elf has no veteran toy building elf to help ease the burden on toy production. Santa’s miserable failure to address this issue throughout the summer will result in continued Christmas disappointment and may eventually result in the continued erosion of the children’s faith. The whole grandiose “Christmas Project” is a Christmas expansion campaign to increase Santa’s status among his fan base, but make no mistake, if Santa continues to maintain radio silence on the state of the "Christmas Project’ until next year, countless millions will wonder whether to believe or continue to support this man and his place at the top of the Chrismas heirarchy.
To the Christmas loyalists, I wouldn’t blame you a bit if you started to consider Hannukkah, Festivus or Kwanza at least until Santa get’s this sled on the right rails.

CB

I seem to have run out of candy canes and popsicles. I asked Avery but the big jerk wouldn’t share. Yeah, it got me suspended, but to be fair, I don’t think that’s my fault. And maybe I DO have a triple-digit minus, but I lead the team in assists, so it’s not all naughty, right? And I may bring back a nice draft pick.. because I’m a GIVER.

Yours,
Wizzer

Thank you for the gift of health this year…I think? I trust it carries through at least until April, yes-no?

Ahoj,
Radek

I have been a good boy,
I’ve tried my best all year,
But things just didn’t work out,
And I’ll need a new job I fear.

There were issues with the captain,
So I had to let him go,
I promoted his best buddy,
And they used him to hide the dough.

Things looked so promising,
We were flyin like a plane,
But after the injury bug hit,
the wheels fell off the train.

I’m in the box of Mr. Wang,
For what, I don’t have a clue,
He’s got me listening to tony robbins tapes,
And the goal song on an endless loop.

I don’t really wanna be here,
I feel empty, useless and oh so incomplete
So maybe you could find me a job elsewhere,
That gig in DC would sure be sweet.

So I’ve put together a resume,
It’s detailed in X and O,
If you don’t understand it,
I’m sure you’re not alone.

Well the time has come,
I’ve got some other chores,
They have me making keys now,
Cause they changed the locks on all the doors.

thank you mr santa claus,
for reading this christmas plea,
But please act fast, cause
It looks like I’m not gettin a new key.

Yours truly,
Scott Gordon

Are your talentless overpaid elves any closer to finishing that muzzle I asked for? Because I could use one ASAP.

Problematically,
Dan Ellis

Thanks so much for the nurse outfit. Worked like a charm! Loved razzing Wiz. Did have a hard time resisting the urge to sucker punch him though,

Thanks again,

Sean