LHH Glossary: Rough draft
by Dominik on Oct 8, 2010 7:04 PM EDT
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PrintEditor's Note: This post is actually from October 1 originally. But since we're going to get an influx of visitors for the new season, I thought I'd bump it back up so that new friends get a taste of what life is like around here and which references might be confusing at first.
Thanks to the growing and frequently entertaining participation here from so many of you, we are at this point. Or we'll soon be at this point: It's time for a Lighthouse Hockey glossary.
Problem is, I'm not good at remembering jokes, and I can only hold about two or three ideas in my head at one time (One is usually sex, the second is usually hockey, so most days that doesn't leave much room for carry-ons.)
So I figure eventually we'll have a standing page that is a glossary of site terms -- memes and jokes that the newcomer might not understand but can check to get up to speed. For now, I need your help building it. I'll start with a draft of the ones that come to mind after a large bottle of a Belgian trippel, but if there are any you think of -- particularly if you, ya know, found them funny -- please add them here in comments. Build it, and we will laugh. And cry.
RSH
Rob Schremp Hockey. Affectionate nickname for the old #13, the new #44. Stems from an early post on RSH, when upon digging into why he had such a mixed reputation so far, I came across a Hockey's Future profile in which he was quoted saying he "just need to be able to play my game and play Rob Schremp hockey."
Detlef
Same person as above, actually. Coined by mikb thanks to the similarly named basketball player who looks like this.
.9mm
Yeah, so this one is actually brand new and has only been used once, but the way it made me laugh was actually the inspiration for finally starting a glossary. Some of the comments here crack me up so much I don't ever want to forget them. So this one, specifically, refers to Rick DiPietro and the high-risk/high-reward of a goalie who likes to handle the puck. Coined by JP (the VA one, now that we have an NY one), I quote his explanation:
Having a goaltender who can handle the puck is like carrying a firearm. When used responsibly it brings comfort and the awareness that you have this very powerful object on your person. If you use it irresponsibly it can easily be taken advantage of and you’re going to the proctologyst to have it removed.
Rakhtober
I can't remember who coined this, as I'm pretty sure I saw several people use it (with maybe various spellings) to refer to anticipation of this fall and Rhett Rakhshani getting some time to shine either here or in Bridgeport. Suffice to say, it can stand for general anticipation of Rhett, or if we're lucky, when he someday puts up 18 points in a single October. Rakhtober is here. May we all smell what the Rakh is cooking.
Natural Born Kirills
Coined by mikb, referring to Kabanov and Petrov, our great Russian hopes that are so close we can touch their skill, yet so far we have to read about their progress through BabelFish translations of Russian agents who have only the player's interest in mind, I assure you.
Wiz/Wis
I never know: Is it with an 's' or a 'z'? His name is with an 's,' but somehow "Wiz" just buzzes better. I'm open to opinions on this, but when I find myself spelling it both ways within a single paragraph, I know the nerdy editor in me has gone mad. Speaking of which...
Mac 'n Cheese
When pairing Andrew MacDonald and James "Cheese Wiz"niewski. Also a brand new one from yesterday, but it just seems like it will come up again, so we might as well mark it now.
EH07, or Eastside Hockey
A hockey sim game that WebBard always recommends I try. It sounds like serious stuff -- mikb is apparently in year 2018 right now -- so I'll just call it Dungeons & Dragons for hockey nerds. I don't know how often it will come up, but when WebBard and mikb talk about it I giggle in a good way.
He Who Must Not Be Named / Voldemort / MM
Well if I could name him, we wouldn't need this definition, would we? Suffice to say, a previous GM of the team.
Mike Mottau
No mystery or code about it. But what is, "Someone who still owes us a pound of flesh for the Frans hit before he will be fully embraced?" Despite the official site's acting like it's not the first question on our minds. As the charter member of the Frans Fan Club, I may take to calling Mottau Pound of Flesh though.
[Player Initials]
Not necessary and not funny but they sometimes help, especially in game threads: KO (Okposo), JT (Tavares), CDH (de Haan), DP (DiPietro, although TMC reminded me those initials can stand for other pursuits), MM (Moulson).
Crotchety Old Man
Dwayne Roloson, of course. (Isn't he like old enough to be Garth Snow's dad?)
Wang's World
This strange parallel universe we've inhabited for about a decade. It defines every high and low of our era. "How did so many strange things happen next to so many nice things?" the boy asked. "Well," the father replied, "it was Wang's World."
Community Projection
Quickest way to get an Islander shelved with shoulder surgery. Given our record, should probably avoid these unless I back up the threat to do them for Avery, Pronger and [insert tool here].
Mrs. Lighthouse
My better half, the woman without whose understanding of my putting off fixing the gutter (again), this site would not be possible. Speaking of which...
* * *
Please add your own favorites and corrections in comments. Like I said, I know I've forgotten several memes because my brain only has room for hockey and sex and ... what was I talking about again?
Submitted FanPosts do not necessarily reflect the views of this blog or SB Nation. If you're reading this statement, you pass the fine print legalese test. Four stars for you.
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M&M Reminder
We are probably going to have to deal with two MM’s… MMa(Matt Martin) and MMo(Matt Moulson)… Maybe we could take it to the next level and call them by their favorite M&M colors… Somebody would have to ask them… Dee?
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Damn... I forgot that Mottau fits this description as well...
… not to mention THE M&M WHO SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS.
Dee, get to work! :-)
And if one of our community finds all of these guys “friendable” (I would have said spongeworthy, but I’m trying to keep this PG-13) then we’ll have to petition Mars to come up with THE METAL M&M, so she can hang with her buds…. kinda like an M&M Avatar.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Sorry but none of the double M crew are spongeworthy.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 11:31 AM EDT up reply actions
I apologize for the crudeness of my implications… at least I didn’t really scrape teh gutter and suggest a DP with two M&M’s…
now I need a shower.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
The game
I got Leonardo DiCaprio. Of course when I looked at the choices…
I mean, I didnt see David Draiman, Kip Winger, or Ben Browder anywhere. What do they know?
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions
I got Matthew McConnaghy (sp? who cares.)
And I can live with that, though it feels a little weird.
I love that a company made that; great intersection of Seinfeld and Things We’re Not Supposed To Talk About. Nice to see a company with a sense of humor.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
I wonder what he's up to now.....
I think that’s the first Kip Winger reference to see the light of day since 1998. Nicely done.
Kip is doing great. Ive seen him in concert like ten-fifteen times since 1998 lol. He has released many albums since then- both solo and with Winger. Great guy.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 5, 2010 6:37 PM EDT up reply actions
LOL, somehow I knew you’d have an answer like that!
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
I had a mullett back then too.....sorta.
I actually Googled him because I wasn’t sure if you were serious or not. Turns out, he’s still out and about. Good for him.
LOL- I kid you not. Id post a pic of us together but I cant access FB at work.
(BTW Kip never had a “mullet” his hair was never all that different than it is now, it was just poofier… we were all poofier tho lol)
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 6, 2010 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, we were poofier.
The earth was much more humid in those days, that’s the ticket.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Old
I actually have to run out this weekend to get my semi-monthly Comeau’ver. Poofy days are long gone.
Mr. Glass
Those whom are succeptable to injury from seemingly any contact or misstep. (see DiPietro, Rick & Martinek, Radek)
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 9:36 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
i think the "Glassmen" would fit better for them
if referring to them as a group
but singularly they are all Mr. Glass
In Garth we trust!
Never used but...
Snowblower- anyone who gives the generic post signing interview stating “happy for opportunity the Islanders have given me”, “I look forward to building a winner on Long Island” or there is a lot of great young talent that Garth has assembled".
I always hate reading those cringe-worthy quotes.
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 9:39 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
As a verb and prediction
Mottau was snowblowing with Strang after the pre-game skate prior to the Devils game.
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 9:41 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
LOL!!!!!!!
“Our goal is to make the playoffs” <— snowblower?
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions
I liked that this is a team with a bright future.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Wang's World additional note
*Not [yet!] synonymous with [Cup] “Party Time”.
Danish Backhand of Judgment: Frans’ righteous enforcement upon opposing goals in shootouts.
Mustache Ride: What those who drop the gloves with Trevor Gillies embark upon.
Nothing else jumps to mind at the moment…
by MTBVibe on Oct 1, 2010 10:08 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Very good!
I knew I was forgetting a bunch.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
LMAO @ mustache ride!!!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 11:27 AM EDT up reply actions
Milburied
Traded before potential is reached
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 10:09 AM EDT via mobile reply actions 2 recs
AAAAAAAAH
Nice, MTBV…. quicker on the button than I am. I owe you a beer.
Quickly moving up the depth chart
I love beer!
I didn’t beat you by much, just proves the appreciation we all have for Frans.
…I want a DBoJ t-shirt… 8^)
Sathered
Acquired above market value and/or past prime.
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 10:11 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
Strang Out
Definition:
Describes Isles fans hungry for news about their team… and not being able to find any.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
Swedish Mediation
That which makes one cry.
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 10:13 AM EDT via mobile reply actions
I also liked the Chinese Injury Zodiac… Year of the Knee, Year of the Hip, Year of the Labrum…. Was that JPinVA or Dom?
Quickly moving up the depth chart
by mikb on Oct 1, 2010 10:13 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Smurfs/Short Island Smurfs
That other team who we don’t like. (Maybe they should move to Winnipeg.)
by MTBVibe on Oct 1, 2010 10:18 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
The Wheel of Discipline
(n.) the League’s oval-shaped, slightly-warped, off-kilter “system” used to assign (random) punishments for misbehavior. Stolen from a Seaside Heights carney barker during the 1994 strike. Currently spun by Colin Campbell, who doesn’t care where your token is, you’re STILL not getting the giant stuffed Yankees panda… but you will get three games.
Quickly moving up the depth chart
First Base Andy [Hilbert]
Now that he’s back…
I’m not sure if this was a “community favorite” as this is an incestuous community (Newsday, NYIPB, Yahoo, Islandermania…etc), but I know it got a lot of play when 19Isles (not sure who he is here… but very similar style to Ozzyfan) conspired to create the nickname. After a series of missed open nets and a really bad game where he juggled the puck in the slot while the tying goal was a weak wrister away I thought he looked like a HS kid in the back seat of his dad’s car… forever struggling with the clasp… and never getting to second base.
He should be Touch ’em All Andy in Bridgeport… so this one may have passed its prime.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Yes, gladly accepting imports and hybrids from prior Web environs. Especially First Base Andy.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
El Nino
A force of nature that strikes fear in the hearts of men.
Don’t know if it’s been used but there should be a Motha’ Tucker.
GM-Coach Merge
We had Snolan… we have Snordon… If there are a few too many 3rd period meltdowns we might see Snapuano.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
I hope it's okay that I'm making up new ones!
Colin-oscopy- when Campbell inexplicably suspends a seemingly undeserving player.
by Keith Quinn on Oct 1, 2010 10:36 AM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
Of course
I’m loving all of these. There are already so many I’d forgotten or never conceived of.
Excellent work, people!
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Gloriously Unsponsored
All praise the barn otherwise known as Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum.
It is official, I am moving back to Long Island in about 2-3 weeks.
Wow, this grew way faster than I expected
I’m going to have to make a dedicated page sooner than I thought.
But keep ’em coming, people.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Gone but not forgotten
Braveheart: Brendan Witt… off to the Valhala of hockey.
The Toe Drag: Mike Comrie the one trick pony boy.
The energizer Bergy: Sean Bergenhiem, Finnished on the island.
THE EXODUS: After a year of turmoil where a pretty good group of mediocre hockey talent was assembled and somehow made the playoffs it was quite evident that Charles Wang had created a three ring circus. At the end of the 2006-07season EVERYBODY JUST LEFT.
*****EXODUS********
Jason Blake (40 goal scorer) Signed with Toronto.
Ryan “Kleenex” Smyth (Late season rental)… Snow tried to get Guerin, wound up making a very good deal for Smyth, Smyth missed the Western Conference (Really?) Three first rounders for an 18 game rental… not really as bad as it sounds.
Viktor Kozlov:(Career high in goals, 25) Signed with washington.
Tom Poti: (back to form, second highest point output, 44)… Washington
Sean “over the” Hill: (steady, minute eating “D”, busted for roids)… Into the Wild.
Aaron Asham: (middleweight with good hockey skills) Let him walk.
Alexei Yashin: (after a PPG run as Blakes pivot) Bought out… still playing and being paid by Charlie Lighthouse.
…and there are others… but you get the picture.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
I like this,
we should make more nicknames for more players, our players now specifically.
Go isles or Go home.
Desperately in need of nicknames
I’m usually bad at that game, so I’m hoping some new ones come up and catch on.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
To add to the Mike Comrie list…those of us in the Blog Box used to call him Mike “Queen of the Fairies” Comrie. If you want to try “Court Jester of the Toe Drag” or “Teapot” (he was short and stout. For example his new bride the Duffster was almost taller than him in heels and she’s officially 4’11"; I wish I could make that up. I kid you not.)
Oh and you can’t forget “Duffrie”. It’s simply too perfect (though not better than “Fisherwood”)
From the Penalty Box to the Blog Box! Check it out at Isles Official's Outlook!
by IslesOfficial on Oct 1, 2010 3:51 PM EDT up reply actions
I always thought “fisherwood” was something an angler got when he’d “hooked the big one”
I’d love to know where Mike “Queen of Faries” came from. I know some guys want to drive the Zamboni when there wives aren’t around… but others just want to “ride the zamboni”… can its origins be found in that context?
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
You had to know the man. That’s all I can say in regards to Comrie ( G-ddamn Primadonna)
From the Penalty Box to the Blog Box! Check it out at Isles Official's Outlook!
by IslesOfficial on Oct 1, 2010 8:29 PM EDT up reply actions
So that dynamic should work well with Princess Cindy… maybe they can co-host tea parties and paint Avery’s nails when he’s in town.
Cindy, have I ever shown you my spectacular move… two snaps up for the toe drag…
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
FMIV
for Freddy!
and the alternate “Fab Four Freddy” could get a mention too!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Bracketed
Rather than give a corporation free publicity for paying to have it’s name on something, their name is replaced with a comment in brackets. Example: [financial institution] Garden
in fairness
The World’s Most Lamest Arena is, in fact, not sponsored – Madison Square is just a neighborhood in Manhattan, like Herald Square, the East Village, Harlem, etc. The [bracketed] Theater, however, is fair game.
Quickly moving up the depth chart
If we really wanted to be creepy
Are you tired of irritating forwards in your crease, the chipping, the burning? Rub ‘em away with a little Frans Neilsen! It’s Selke-smooth! Act now, and you get the 40-point attachment and the +/- booster ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Quickly moving up the depth chart
THE INCIDENT
03/08/2007
I don’t think this needs any verbiage… this may have been one cause of the EXODUS.
A little background for the newbies… Chris Simon was having a pretty good year for the Islanders. Some things that even us old vets forget… Simon was having a pretty good game. This game was a [for lack of a better term] douche-fest. Simon scored the first goal. The Gordon Gekko playthings tied it up when Avery gave Sean Hill a two hander across the chops… he got up to go to the penalty box because the ref was looking right at him… no whistle… Hill caught up to him on the boards and retaliated… for the only penalty. The Isles regained the lead and then the incident occured. 5 min PP… done.
I am in no way “defending” chris Simon’s reaction, but to say that Ryan Holleweg’s hit was “legit” is to like telling your barber, “the usual sweetheart, business up front, party in the back.”
Simon later stated that he reacted out of self defence in a concussed state. Who hasn’t taken a sucker punch and in an effort to protect one’s self from further damage grabbed the nearest beer bottle, broken it, and started swinging for dear life.
What Simon did can not be defended… not in pro sports… but the aftermath was even better. Holleweg finished the game. By all estimations the perception was far worse than the actual damage. Simon missed games due to the concussion that he suffered, and then… THE SUSPENSION. (see Wheel of Justice)
Campbell pulls this one straight from his Colin. He gives Simon enough games to cover the rest of the season, and some of the playoffs… but if the Islanders happen to go deeper into the playoffs… he gets even more. WTF?
Simon never had time to be an “Islander”… and he really finished himself off when after given the millionth chance… he made his millionth +1 mistake.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Need to work on something to take advantage of the fact that Okposo means Thunderstorm and having a kid with a nickname like El Nino. Maybe we have to wait til they play together lol?
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
nice
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 11:37 AM EDT up reply actions
If Milbury gets hired back...
…they’ll trade both of them to the Hurricanes for tom Jussi Jokinen.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
PSYCHICALITY
This one was belongs to Webby.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
I totally forgot about this. That was a glorious night.
When will the hurting stop?
Contributor to Lighthouse Hockey not sure if I'm the Sniper or the Enforcer.
Me too
My god good memory, JP.
NEEDS MORE PSYCHICALITY!
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
I can’t rememebr if this was Gordon’s description, or a Botta term… it was all really exciting until they were OVER-RUN, SPED-PAST and completely UNDER-WHELMING.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Pretty sure it was Gordon's
And he quickly parsed it to mean he was talking about practice habits (practicing at a faster speed than normal to get yourself making quicker decisions that pay off in games). I remember writing a bunch about it before my archives went down with a silly defunct network.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
THE F-BOMB
Another gone but not forgotten… Mitch Fritz… Garth Snow’s answer to protect his smallish lineup, and Scott Gordon’s gesture of pacifism.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
if youre going there
I recall: THE WRECKER
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 11:35 AM EDT up reply actions
How about
a shortened version of man games lost to injury?
Lord knows we will b saying it this season- AGAIN.
Maybe MGL?
Or MGLI? <— this one has the bonus of being “man games lost to injury” or “man games lost to Islanders”
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
Road trip checklist....
Helmet…. check
Stick…. check
Pads…. check
MRI Club Card (one free MRI with every ten)… check
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
"The Islander Curse"?
I mean it really does seem like were cursed with all these injuries
In Garth we trust!
Rad Martin
Radek Martinek’s Canadien twin.
Also, I lol’d at the EHM07 entry, Dom. I am a humongous Hockey Nerd. You’d hate to know how much of my time goes into each year’s fake draft.
Quickly moving up the depth chart
I was mesmerized the day you guys had the longer exchange about it. I think it took me back to my dad’s and my lengthy make-believe table hockey league, in which we traded plastic players (with real-life names) who all came from the same die-cast cutout.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Kate Murray
KM equates to: spoiler, politico. phony, please feel free to add your word
Some attempts at nicknames:
Martinek- Mr.Glass/The 6 million dollar man
DP- Mr.Glass/6 million dollar man
Nino-El Nino, obviously
JT-Moses, because he is going to lead the isles to the promised land
RSH-The Magician, because of his offensive/stick tricks/skills
Konopka-The muscle
Weight-White hair away from looking like: Father Time
Hunter- Towering Power, ever since I saw that isles commercial last year a zillion times
Gillies-The Stache, obviously
Bruno-Chef, obviously
Comeau-Blake the Snake, for his sneaky hard shot
Moulson-Matty Goalson or Holy Mouly or Goals Mouls/Mouls Goals
Frans-The Brain Dane, The Brainish Danish
Bailey-The kid, for now
That’s all I got for now.
Go isles or Go home.
I know this will never catch on...
We had a Hammer with Hamrlik… When i think of Hamonic’s style of play it links me more to this guy…
“Sean, you talkin’ to me… Sean… Sean… yeah… you… you talkin’ to me?!?”
I can just hear chants of BICK-EL, BICK-EL, BICK-EL….
Of course the link is the first name… Is there any more bad ass Travis than Travis Bickle??
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
by JPinVA on Oct 1, 2010 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I like it.
Not everyone will get it but it’s good. But that’s why we are making a glossary in the first place.
Meet Me At the Lighthouse...
Video written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan…
A nice somewhat entertaining ad video driven by very catchy tune… in the second act there is evidence that something is very wrong in the town of Hempstead… very wrong indeed…
****SPOILER ALERT*****
THERE IS NO EFFIN LIGHTHOUSE
Other Islander works by Mr. Shyamalan…
The Village of Rockville Centre…. Chris Botta ponders leaving the Village for much needed info, only to find out he’s been living in sheltered community where they actually still believe in Charles Wang.
The Sixth Defenseman… “I see injured players, and they don’t even know they’re injured”
Breakable… The story of a lanky defenseman who can’t seem to lace up his skates without needing to be fitted for a cast.
Signings…. Charles Wang starts to see crop circles in the backyard of his estate. At first he ignores them, and just believes they are pranks by his pesky neighbors, the Dolans. When he interprets the circles he believes they are telling him to give Alexei Yashin $8M for 10 years, and Rick DiPietro $4.25M for 15…. the ironic twist in this one may be Night’s best work yet.
The Happening… During a snowstorm on Long Island the NVMC is invaded by aliens… FROM MONTREAL. This is possibly the most horrific 90 minute feature ever put on video.
The Last Toe Dragger… Do I even have to write this one.
Devil… Let’s just say this one is about a GM, a goaltender and a dream.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
by JPinVA on Oct 1, 2010 12:09 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Meet Me At the Lighthouse…
Video written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan…
A nice somewhat entertaining ad video driven by very catchy tune… in the second act there is evidence that something is very wrong in the town of Hempstead… very wrong indeed…
****SPOILER ALERT*****
THERE IS NO EFFIN LIGHTHOUSE
Thats why whenever my friends and I hear the song we sing, “Meet me at the parking lot!”
This makes us laugh. Then we get all sad. Then we move on to other things.
Its what makes us Islanders fans.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I just want to say...
That I didn’t write this much in seven years of high school!
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
But wouldn't your teachers be proud now?
On fire, sir, on fire.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Not if he meant seven years of TEACHING high school!
I’m kidding, a lot of my good friends are teachers. Arguably the hardest working people on Earth after (again, arguably) EMTs and police officers.
Aye, Mrs. Lighthouse is a teacher
And thus so are a bunch of my friends. At this point, she’d probably be open to arguments that writing jokes on a blog IS productive — anything to get the kids to practice the process. (I always go for the “you’ll learn to talk your way out of stuff” argument myself.)
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
I got to see Big Fan the other day… and it made me take a hard look at my life…. all I can say is I’m taller than Patton Oswalt!
Hello, is this Mrs Lighthouse, can I speak to Mr. Lighthouse…. I have a couple of lines about M. Night Shyamalan I’d like to get into today’s blog.
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Definition:
A guy who (wisely, IMO) totally shaves his head when his hairline is undeniably going bye-bye.
Trent Hunter also has a Comeauver.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 12:42 PM EDT up reply actions
lol I like bald guys, what can I say?
Its not like I planned it, it just happened.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions
and thats what they said about their Comeauvers ;)
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 6:49 PM EDT up reply actions
As a follicaly challenged individual myself, I completely agree…
The comeau’ver, however, will take on new meaning when Blake becomes the power forward he has shown hints of in seasons 1-3. It shoud be used more often as, “That was quite a rush by 57… and Del Zotto was the newest victim of the comea’ver as Blake skated right through him”
Forget about the LHP, BKLYN, Queens or Hamilton... Wang is moving the Islanders to The Nassau University Medical Center.
Trent Hunter also has a Comeauver.
And Ryan Getzlaf, at last check, is still in dire need of one.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Getzlaf, hockey talent can't stop you from going bald. lol
He’s such a force on the ice too. Easily one of the top 10 scoring forwards in the nhl. What I would trade to acquire him and his baldness. lol.
Go isles or Go home.
He is fantastic
If he didn’t play in the far West he’d be on every billboard. With his helmet on, of course.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Okay, I tried to read all these to make sure no one else mentioned this two. So here we go
93 – The Last Flash of Glory
Tambelleni’ed – To be put in the dog house with the coach for unknown reasons
When will the hurting stop?
Contributor to Lighthouse Hockey not sure if I'm the Sniper or the Enforcer.
Sutton Section
Not that he is with the Isles at the moment but when he comes to visit we could always refer to the defensive boards as the Sutton Section. Where he leveled so many of the opposition’s unsuspecting top skaters.
It is official, I am moving back to Long Island in about 2-3 weeks.
I forgot about that!
Sutton’s plaque will be installed there as soon as Bob Bourne gets company in the Isles hall of honor/fame/very nice things.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
How about:
You just got “Brett Lindros’d”…i.e. Your career was cut short due to the fact your ass was too big and you couldn’t take a hit (shame, I think he would have had a great career if his brain wasn’t so loose).
No one ever wants to be Scott Scissions, Pavel Brendl, Alexander Daigle, Hugh Jessiman or Dylan McIlrath…i.e. 1st round draft picks that made absolutely no sense even at the time they were drafted.
“Kaspar The Unfriendly Ghost”: Gotta give props to the master of the hipcheck.
I’ll have more later…
From the Penalty Box to the Blog Box! Check it out at Isles Official's Outlook!
Matt Moulaon
I really like the Mighty Matt moniker.
by hockey s, w and m on Oct 1, 2010 4:54 PM EDT reply actions
That's right
and the twitterific #mightymattmoulson
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
The Reverand
Prospect Brock Nelson- for his biblical pose at the draft.
And I can’t remember who coined it for the dearly departed Freddy IV, but I found Pokemon (for pocket monster) very funny.
Nearly enough defensemen to last through the injury bug
Yes!
I keep calling Brock Nelson the Reverend or Rev and NOBODY understands why lol!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions
And when he scores for the Isles the organ guy has to do that rendition of Hallelujah that he does when we get a PP lol
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 6:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Oooh yes
Haven’t thought of that one in a while.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
where the entire camera view looks to be covered in a thin layer of low def grey soot.
And that annoying spot was there for like an entire season.
And the audio makes you feel like youre listening to the game while taking a dunk in Long Island sound.
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 9:12 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
But the commercials are LOUD AS HELL!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 9:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Thats right up there with
reCLINER after reCLINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let Us Go, Islanders! (Ever notice how strange that sounds without the contraction?)
by TheMetalChick on Oct 1, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
thats even worse
whenever you try and watch videos on the isles website thats always the ad
In Garth we trust!
Ca$hin
I searched the whole discussion thread and didn’t find this. Is there some reason why this obvious one wasn’t listed yet? Is it too easy?
I suppose a definition is in order…
(v) The act of signing a large contract, and then disappearing statistically except in the “bad” stat areas (this can be due to poor play and/or injury trouble);
(n) Any player who earns way more than his play is worth.
Warning: This post may cause Yashin Rashes, Spano Spasms, and Dingle Milburys.
by ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles on Oct 2, 2010 12:09 AM EDT reply actions
Example...
(Besides you-know-who’s photo appearing next to the word)
Wade Redden will be a Ca$hin to the Rags’ organization this year.
Warning: This post may cause Yashin Rashes, Spano Spasms, and Dingle Milburys.
by ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles on Oct 2, 2010 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions
Matt Coulson
Matt Moulson’s Canuck stomping identity given to him by the ill-prepared, indignant, alcoholic (I am assuming that one) Vancouver press. Here’s to the possibility that they may be inebriated enough to repeat that same mistake this year. Unfortunately we will have to watch Coulson stomp them from the barn rather than on their own ice.
Home after 19 years of being away. Now to find a job.
by metalcoconut on Oct 2, 2010 8:02 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Coulson, lol. That chant would energize him everytime he heard it.
Somebody should tell that to him everygame so he plays with a chip on his shoulder. What did he have a 1 or 2 goal game that day? I’m pretty sure he had 2points when we blew out the canucks and had luongo pulled, just not sure if it was 2 goals. Oh, what a great game/day that was last season.
Go isles or Go home.
Another good one I’d forgotten! Really glad I drank that bottle of trippel and started this thread.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
What trippel was it?
Strong beer is good beer!
Are we going to have a “finalized” version of the Glossary at some point? Just curious! =p
La Fin du Monde
And absolutely, we’ll have a finalized glossary soon.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo were important to this team.
Oh, that’s a perfect description.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo and Schremp and Tavares were important.
Lou-ser
Any team that can’t field a full team due to serious salary cap issues.
You can damage a player’s head, but don’t you dare damage the league’s image!
by ICanSeeForIslesAndIsles on Oct 15, 2010 5:13 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Pullin' a Witt
When a non-scoring defenseman nets two goals in a single game; they most likely never score again.
“Whoa, Jurcina was pullin a Witt in that win over a Colorado the other day.”
Yes!
This glossary is a living breathing document, and Milan makes it so.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo and Schremp and Tavares and Wisniewski were important.
He Who Is Curiously Devoid of Nomenclature
Mikb’s latest term for Milb- … MIlbu-… you know, that guy.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo and Schremp and Bailey were important.
Butch (ery)
The mispronounciations and/or other bumblings by our color commentator.
Sarcasm experience enhanced by Samsung (TM)
by Keith Quinn on Oct 30, 2010 1:02 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Botta'd
When you state opinion as fact, then say it’s just opinion – though it’s also totally true, then call out the people saying it’s just an opinion – even if it is 100% true, then you wonder why certain people won’t grant you interviews.
by Les Beaver on Nov 1, 2010 11:16 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
exempli gratia part deux:
“Yeah, so that dude that got Botta’d the other day, he is PISSED. Though he says he’s not. He totally is though.”
NTIPC
“Not That I Particularly Care” — as oopsy said by Howie over the air Nov. 21, 2010 during an otherwise unremarkable game in Atlanta.
Lighthouse Hockey: You say that like Streit and Okposo and MacDonald were important.
this may be the funniest losing streak ever
Capuano: So what the hell’s going on here?
Weight: Well, Grabner’s scared because his eyelids are jammed, and Bailey’s old man is here.
We need a live chicken to take the curse off RDP’s glove.
Nobody seems to know what to get Comrie and Duff for their wedding present.
Is that about right?
[everyone nods]
Capuano: Candlesticks always make a nice gift.
Community Projected to have eleven more posts before blowing out his laptop
Lighthouse Hockey - a beacon of greatness on the rocky coast of sports blog mediocrity
Pronger Fissixs
Dom pointed me back to the Glossary and thought I’d re-post here:
Pronger Fissix
Chris Pronger’s special brand of physics that explains why it’s perfectly normal, and legal, for him to elbow everyone in the back of the head.
It was coined after the 2007 WCF game he got suspended after elbowing Tomas Holmstrom in the back of the head against the boards. When asked about the hit, this came out:
"Of course I’m going to hit him in the head. He’s quite a bit shorter than me. It’s just law of physics."
-trolled from the Kuklas Korner Boards
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Islanders Schedule
Next 5 Games
New York Rangers
|
Fri 02/24 | 7:00 PM EST |
|
@
Ottawa
|
Sun 02/26 | 5:00 PM EST |
|
@
Washington
|
Tue 02/28 | 7:00 PM EST |
|
@
Philadelphia
|
Thu 03/01 | 7:00 PM EST |
|
@
Boston
|
Sat 03/03 | 1:00 PM EST |
Last 5 Games
|
@
Buffalo
|
Tue 02/21 | L 1 - 2 |
|
Ottawa
|
Mon 02/20 | L 0 - 6 |
|
Carolina
|
Sat 02/18 | W 4 - 3 |
|
@
St. Louis
|
Thu 02/16 | L 1 - 5 |
|
@
Winnipeg
|
Tue 02/14 | W 3 - 1 |
Atlantic Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
|
New York Rangers
|
58 | 38 | 15 | 5 | 81 |
|
New Jersey
|
59 | 35 | 20 | 4 | 74 |
|
Philadelphia
|
59 | 33 | 19 | 7 | 73 |
|
Pittsburgh
|
60 | 34 | 21 | 5 | 73 |
|
New York Islanders
|
60 | 25 | 27 | 8 | 58 |
(updated 2.22.2012 at 8:56 AM EST)
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