Tale of two games: Islanders-Rangers post-game presser fun

We'll let Al Trautwig start us off: "Once again we fire up the bleep button with John Tortorella..."

This league is a better place with coaches like Tortorella and Mike Keenan in it -- as long as they're not coaching my team -- because they make for entertaining theater. Hockey is a simple game, it's also a chaotic game. [Cue Bull Durham's: "You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball."] But with these guys, reporters are always asking questions that make it sound either too simple or too complex for the coach's sensibilities at that particular moment. Fantastic fireworks ensue. Enjoy:

Tortorella Post-Game, after 2-1 Loss to Islanders

On the seeing-eye goal by Jon Sim, a "dirty goal" that was created by two Rangers allowing Jack Hillen to pinch in the corner and take a Sunday walk behind the net: A dirty goal "that we don't get. There’s horse$h!t coverage around the corners, he just brings it around the net. It’s a fluky goal. But we don’t get them."

Another probing, Fire-Sather-ish question from reporters: "You talk about [how] you have to figure it out. After the last month or so, is this group capable of figuring it out, as currently constituted?"

More Torts fun ensued, including the implication of lineups changes. Good times.

Contrast that with a clearly at-ease Islanders coach Scott Gordon -- monotone as usual, but quite a bit more chipper than your average day. [His video and more after the jump...]

The man must know that taking two points from the Rangers is worth more in job merit points than your average win. He even took a "Rangers hangover" question with a smile rather than a scowl! Obviously, winning puts a cherry on everyone's ice cream:

By the way, included in this clip is the burning question everyone has: Why Jon Sim? Here's Gordon:

"It's a rivalry where you want your guys to play hard and play between the whistles, and he does a great job with that. He certainly draws more penalties than he takes, and I thought he was justly rewarded for getting that goal tonight."

Gordon Post-Game Presser

Not nearly as entertaining, but there you go. On the question of why the Isles handily controlled the first period -- the period Torts "ha[s] no f#@ing explanation" for:

"We allowed ourselves to establish the forecheck because we put the puck in good places. Great pace on our forecheck, we got in hard, we finished our hits, a lot of support all over the offensive zone in terms of getting above the puck, and as a result we were hard to play against."

Then someone (might have been Chris Botta?) asked about Jack Hillen -- "just keeps on rising?" -- and got the tried-and-true "No question about it" from Gordon: "He's a student of the game, and..." --

-- this is where Tortorella stormed into the presser and screamed: "Student MY ASS! He took advantage of two HORSE$h!t players making horse$h!t plays in our corner! There was NOTHING STUDIOUS about that! A PEE-WEE player would make that play, but unfortunately not a SINGLE DAMN RANGER could defend it!"

Or maybe he didn't. But you wouldn't be terribly surprised if he had, would you?