Islanders-Bruins advice: Wave arms, speak softly, look big

if the bear is approaching you, remain calm and try to look as large as possible. Try to back away slowly—do not run—and speak softly. If the bear continues to approach, stop and stand your ground. Speak more loudly in a deep, calm voice, and wave you arms to make yourself look bigger.

>>Wikihow, 'How to Escape from a Bear'

Oh, Yann Danis, you poor innocent camper, you.

Actually, despite a record that is fast conjuring ugly '90s phrases like "why, how Senatorial," and "it has a certain Nordiquesque bouquet" and "that smells down-right Sharky," this Islanders club can generally be counted on for an entertaining game. They show up. They don't trap. For a poor, injury-laden team, they rarely lack spirit. If this were, say, Team Canada in a soccer "friendly" vs. Brazil, they'd keep things sorta close before Brazil really turns on that samba thing.

But the Bruins are running on all four cylinders. Or eight cylinders -- or whatever is an impressive number of cylinders to someone who scuffs their hands through actual labor rather than by hitting Ctrl+F4 in constant panic. Frankly, the Bruins make me feel like "Grizzly Man" near the end of the film: Disoriented and more irrational than normal.

They're a full 40 points ahead of the Islanders, and 9 points (two games in hand) ahead of the 2nd-place Capitals. Since these teams last met after Thanksgiving (as I recall, the third period didn't go well), the Bruins have lost all of three times. The Isles, meanwhile, have won three.

Other than that, the B's are so going down tonight.

        

Boston Stoic Pooh Bears (32-7-4, 1st/East) at New York Islanders (12-27-4, 30th)

7:00 EST | Nassau gloriously unsponsored Veterans Memorial Coliseum | MSG+

Chowda blog: Stanley Cup of Chowder (SBN's latest)

That's right, hockey has rebounded so much in Boston -- despite Jeremy Jacobs' best efforts to annihilate it -- that fans will even reference the Cup in their blog name. Brazen, but welcome. So yeah, please welcome the latest blog(ger) to be lured by SBN Hockey's sweet user/reader tools (okay fine: Mirtle), Evan at Stanley Cup of Chowder.

(Note: Stanley Cup of Chowder is supposed to make the move some time today, but these things depend on atmospheric measurements and planetary tilt and general what-not you wouldn't understand. So if you see this before launch, the original Blogspot SCoC location is here.)

For a look into the present-day psyche of Bruins Fan (versus the beaten-down, Jacobs-mauled psyche who subsisted before every Boston sports team had its Faustian deal notarized), check out Evan's guest "Hockey Orphan" piece at Cycle like the Sedins.

As for the Islanders tonight -- particularly Yann Danis and his Plan C backup -- they should remember that "a little bear psychology can go a long way." So, if it gets too crazy out there, climb a tree or play dead. Or something.

[Editor's note: Lighthouse Hockey is not a licensed bear survival advisor. As with all fauna-play, waving one's arms at bears carries inherent risk. Each hockey fan should play with bears according to his/her own degree of comfort with the threat of mauling.]